


of humans and vampires

by sweetcreekbiscuit



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Angst and Feels, Awkwardness, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Complicated Relationships, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, Eventual Fluff, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Kyle Broflovski, How do I tag again, Human/Vampire Relationship, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, Mystery, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Reunions, Smoking, Supernatural Elements, Swearing, Trans Kyle Broflovski, Vampires, a little gay i mean, adulting is apparently hard for them, but he's not that bad, guess i know now, i didn't even know there was a tag like this, like Kenny is pan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 15:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetcreekbiscuit/pseuds/sweetcreekbiscuit
Summary: Kyle, Kenny and Cartman have decided to become supernatural investigators ever since Stan's mysterious disappearance in third grade.Now, almost 13 years later, South Park is faced with yet another unnatural event - a supposed vampire goes around the small town and takes human lives every week. Of course, the three boys are there, ready to solve the mystery and hopefully catch that vampire.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski & Eric Cartman & Kenny McCormick & Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski/David Rodriguez, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Stan Marsh & Wendy Testaburger
Comments: 33
Kudos: 48





	1. The vampire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"Do you smell that?"**
> 
> **"What? Cartman's crapped pants?"**

** Friday, 6:00pm **

There is something in the woods. Something ancient, terrifying. Something that awakens with a mighty roar as soon as the sun sets, and makes the trees shake and the ground rumble, announcing the start of its hunt for food. Something nightmare-inducing, with pale hands reaching out to catch you, sharp teeth ready to bury in your skin. The vicious vampire of South Pa-

"Cartman, what are you writing again?" Kyle asked as he peeked over Cartman's shoulder to take a look at his laptop screen.

"Something that your stupid Jew ass won't appreciate, so I suggest you don't look and don't ask questions. You're distracting me." Cartman replied and shot a quick glare to Kyle and his raised middle finger before turning to his laptop again.

"Aw guys, don't fight again." Kenny whined. "I'm trying to enjoy my chat with the love of my life!"

"Dude, you say that for every person you land your eyes on." Kyle deadpanned as he took his seat between Kenny and Cartman on the couch.

"This guy is different!" Kenny defended and locked his phone before pressing it to his chest protectively.

"Okay, and what's different? Where did you meet him?" Kyle asked and raised a brow at the pouting blond.

"Tinder."

"Kenny, you're a dumbass. Who even relies on Tinder when you have-"

"Grindr? Not everyone's as bold or horny as you to go there, Kyle." Now Kenny was grinning from ear to ear because of his successful attempt in outsmarting Kyle.

"Agreed." Cartman joined in as he proceeded to type away on his laptop.

"I'm not horny-" Kyle started, looking away in embarrassment. "I just know what I want, that's it! I never said that I want a serious relationship or anything, I just want-"

"An ass-pounding. We know, Kahl." Cartman cut him off, then lifted his gaze to grin at the flustered redhead.

"For your information, I'm not the one who gets their ass pounded! Do I look like a fucking bottom to you?"

"Do you want me to answer that truthfully or...?" Cartman sneered.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Kyle exclaimed and stood up, heading for the kitchen and leaving his roommates to laugh their asses off. And speaking about asses, he heard some remarks about his, but he dismissed them and opened the fridge to take a beer. As a second thought he took extra two cans for Cartman and Kenny before going back to them. "I'm not giving you beer if you keep ripping on me." He warned as soon as Kenny and Cartman extended their hands to take their cans of beer.

"Sorry, Kyle." Cartman and Kenny muttered, but they still couldn't wipe the shit-eating grins off of their faces.

Kyle rolled his eyes and gave them the cans, then sat back down and popped his own open.

"You know we love you, dude."

Kenny grinned and leaned to the side to nuzzle his cheek on Kyle's, to which Kyle responded with an 'ew' and reached out to take the remote control and turn on the TV. Cartman requested him to turn on the news, so that's what Kyle did. They were reporting about the killings again. Not surprising.

"-Tom, we're currently on the crime scene of yet another alleged murder in South Park," The reporter said, and Kyle, Kenny and Cartman fell silent in order to hear the most of the story. "The cause of death seems to be blood loss again, like the last four victims. Might I add, all of them died this month and it seems that whatever or whoever killed them, has a pattern - it happens every week. The police and forensics are working on the cases, but given the evidence, or the lack of such, the investigation isn't going well so far. Though many scared residents of South Park suggest that this is the work of a supernatural creature - a vampire. You see, they think that way because of the two marks on the victims' necks that resemble needle punctures-"

"You guys!" Cartman almost shouted as he left his laptop on the coffee table and turned to look at Kyle and Kenny. "We should totally go after this thing!"

"Dude, nobody's called us yet to request our help. And I'm sure that's just the vampire goths, or whatever they are, messing around. You know how freaky they are." Kenny argued and took a sip from his beer. Kyle nodded in agreement.

The boys haven't had a case in forever. In fact, ever since the alien case four years ago, their life was relatively peaceful, as peaceful South Park could be. It was almost getting boring already and they had to fill their time with stupid jobs. That's why Kenny and Kyle started working in the local Harbucks(which didn't go well with their childhood friend, Tweek who took his parents' business, Tweak bros) while Cartman wrote dark fantasy books for a living.

Nevertheless, this apparent vampire was their chance at getting their much needed excitement and flow of adrenaline, as well as money if they were lucky enough. Though Kenny was just starting to settle with his boring life, so he was hesitant. In contrast to him, Cartman was already giddy and Kyle remained neutral.

"Come on, you guys! What could possibly be the worst thing to happen?" Cartman pressed, "What's more, I could get more inspiration for my new book!"

"I don't know, Cartman. Last time you got an anal probe from those aliens, remember?" Kyle huffed out a laugh at the memory and took a sip of his beer. "Not that it wasn't fun."

"Seriously, Kahl. Why did you have to remind me about that?" Cartman deadpanned. He rolled his eyes and stood up, standing in front of the TV with his hands on his hips. "If you don't wanna join me, I'll just go myself."

"Dude, you don't know shit about vampires." Kenny retorted and lifted his gaze from his phone. "The only thing we know about them is that they apparently can't stand silver and crosses. And being stabbed by silver crosses. But even that isn't known for sure. So if you wanna get killed, okay. Go on. It's your blood, your choice."

"But _Kinny_! We can become famous if we catch this thing! Or if we just take a picture of it or something! Think of all the chicks and dudes that'll be swooning over you when we get rid of this creature and come back as heroes."

Kenny rolled his eyes and turned to his phone again, proceeding to chat with the guy he'd matched with on Tinder. Though it didn't last long as Kyle took his phone and stood up, lifting his hand and using his height as an advantage to keep the phone away from Kenny's reach.

"I hate to say it, but Cartman is right. Partly." Kyle started and took a step back when Kenny jumped up to retrieve his phone. "Come on, Kenny. How long was it until we had something interesting happen? Four years? Dude, you were the one who started this whole thing with supernatural investigations and convinced us to tag along. It's only fair if you don't back down now."

Cartman nodded in agreement. Kenny stared at them for a while before sighing and shaking his head.

"Okay, okay. You got me. Let's go and kick that motherfucker's ass!" He raised a fist in the air, then extended his hand to Kyle. "Now give me my phone."

Kyle smiled and returned his phone. It seemed like his and Kenny's roles have reversed over the years, but... Kyle couldn't be the grumpy one forever, right?

"Yes!" Cartman exclaimed, "Then we'll go tomorrow night, so in the meantime you better equip yourself with silver, garlic, cameras and flashlights. And I'll make some research on vampires."

Kyle and Kenny nodded and after finishing their beers, they retreated to their rooms to follow Cartman's instructions.

"This is gonna be suuuper _kewl_!" Cartman sing-songed to himself as he sat back down on the couch to continue his writing.

**Saturday, 7:30pm**

"Okay, guys," Cartman started as he parked his car in the parking lot of an abandoned grocery store in the run-down part of South Park, close to the forest. He knew from horror movies and his own books that this was the stupidest thing to do, but they had to go there in order to see that vampire without threatening innocent people's lives. So Cartman turned the engine off and turned to look at Kyle and Kenny in the backseat(the passenger seat was reserved for Cartman's snacks). "Are you ready?"

Kyle and Kenny gave a reluctant nod and zipped up their jackets. Each of them had silver bracelets(but they called them protection charms because bracelets sounded too girly), flashlights, a night vision camera which was hanging on Kenny's neck, and a voice recorder that was safely tucked in Kyle's breast pocket of his jacket. As for the garlic, only Cartman carried it in his pocket along with a silver cross with pointed edges.

"Yeah, I think we're good to go." Kyle replied, and with that, the three of them exited the vehicle and made their way towards the forest.

They were careful to step quietly as Kenny started filming the area.

"Okay, so apparently vampires go after everyone, but they find virgins to be tastier." Cartman whispered and looked around before stopping to look at Kyle. "That means that we'll use you as bait, Kahl. Whether you like it or not."

"Wha- Why did you assume that I'm a virgin?!" Kyle half-whispered half-shouted and stopped in his tracks to glare at Cartman.

"Because, my dear Jewish friend, you said yourself that you don't get your ass pounded which means that you're a half virgin!" Cartman explained as a matter of fact.

"Fuck off, fatass! I never agreed to be used as bait!"

Kenny snorted as he pointed the camera to Kyle's irritated face, then to Cartman's face-splitting grin. Everything was fun and all, until a rustling came from somewhere nearby.

"Holy shit- Did you hear this? Kinny, are you filming?!" Cartman whispered again, and he, Kyle and Kenny looked around frantically to see the source of the sound. Their flashlights illuminated a pair of green eyes in the distance, but it turned out to be a fox which ran away as quickly as it came. The boys sighed in relief, especially Cartman. "I nearly crapped my pants because of a damn fox! -Uh, delete that later, Kinny."

"No fucking way, dude. Your expression was priceless." Kenny said and pointed the camera to Cartman again. "Don't worry - a fox can't give you an anal probe."

Cartman scowled and was just about to say something else, but Kyle shushed them and raised a hand.

"Do you smell that?"

"What? Cartman's crapped pants?" Kenny chortled, followed by a protest of 'Kinny!'. 

"No, it's- I don't know... It smells disgusting, but..." Kyle trailed and made his way forward as if he was hypnotized.

Kenny and Cartman shrugged and followed Kyle. Soon enough they started to acknowledge the smell too. It smelled like... something rotten. Possibly meat. And as they got closer, they could hear faint whimpering that became more audible when they reached a clearing. There, in the middle of that clearing laid a small brown dog with a rainbow collar around its neck. Next to it was a pile of rotting meat, but the most surprising thing was the person that sat there slumped over the dog and petting its head.

"Come on, Sparky... I'm here. I got you food, so why don't you eat some? You haven't gotten a taste of it for hours now..." The stranger said, his voice wavering as if he was about to cry.

Kyle, Cartman and Kenny stopped in their tracks and stared bewildered at the raven-haired boy before them. He looked like a human, if it wasn't for his unnaturally pale skin.

"You guys, I don't think that's a vampire. And wasn't Sparky the dog of that boy who went missing in third grade?"

As soon as Cartman said that, the stranger's head snapped up to glare at the newcomers and _hiss_ at them.

"Woah, dude!" Kyle started, his hands coming up as a sign of surrender. "We, uh, we don't mean you any harm. We just-" His gaze flicked from the whimpering dog to the boy. "Do you... need help for the dog?"

Kenny and Cartman froze in their places. Cartman even started to shake while Kyle tried hard to not make his own nervousness evident.

"Go away!" The stranger shouted, his voice transforming into a growl at the end. He moved forward, slumping even further as he wrapped his arms protectively around the dog. "Either you turn away and start running or I kill you right here and now!"

"Um- Actually our Kahl here was a volunteer at the animal shelter and vet office last summer so he might be able to help." Cartman blurted out quickly. Kyle shot him a confused glare while Kenny remained motionless, scared to even breathe as he clutched the camera for dear life.

The stranger's face seemed to soften at that, but his brows knitted again after a second.

"Are you crazy or something? I just threatened you and you're still standing here!" Another whimper came from Sparky, so the boy turned his attention to it, giving it a light scratch behind the ear, his voice lowering again. "It's okay, Sparks."

Cartman finally managed to move and when he did, he moved behind Kyle and pushed him forward, muttering something about not wanting to anger the guy any further. Kyle gulped and approached the stranger slowly, his hands still raised, even as he kneeled down in front of the dog and his apparent owner. The latter looked up to him, still frowning, but he seemed to realize that it would be good to get help for his dog, so he moved back.

"One wrong move and you're dead." The stranger warned and watched as Kyle reached down with shaky fingers to let Sparky take a sniff of his hand before doing anything else. Much to everyone's surprise, Sparky gave a light lick to Kyle's palm, his tail wagging weakly.

"Hey there, buddy." Kyle muttered, his voice wavering slightly because of the stranger's menacing aura. He looked the dog up and down to find the source of his pain, biting his lip as he reached out to touch its front leg, but the dog pulled it away from Kyle's hand. Kyle looked up at the stranger again. "Can I...?"

"Hurry up before I change my mind." The stranger simply replied and glared at Kyle before averting his gaze. He focused on the glinting of Kyle's bracelet that poked out from under his sleeve when he caught Sparky's leg to get a better look at it. Though Kyle didn't seem to notice it as he was more focused on the dog's paw.

"Can you hold this for me?" Kyle asked after a second and turned his flashlight on to hand it to the boy in front of him. The latter took it and pointed it down to his dog. In the meantime Kyle shook his hand to stop the trembling, then bent down to pull out a little sliver out of the dog's paw. After that the dog jumped up, its tail wagging more energetically now as it walked closer to Kyle to lick his hand again. The latter chuckled at that, almost forgetting about the possibility of the stranger being a vampire as he explained, "Some dogs tend to get overdramatic when they have slivers."

"Yeah..." The stranger nodded slowly and narrowed his eyes when Kyle looked up to him again to take his flashlight back. "Sparky seems to like you for some reason... What's your name?"

Kyle froze as he stared at the stranger's icy blue eyes that seemed to glow unnaturally in the moonlight.

Wait. Sparky...

Where has he heard this name? And Cartman said something about...

"Stan?"

Kyle's eyes widened at the realization that this could be the boy that he used to hang out the most with since kindergarten. Until that day when they were in third grade...

But then what was he doing in the forest now? He was proclaimed dead after a year of not showing up.

"Uh- Your name's Stan? That's strange because mine is also-"

"No, I'm... I'm Kyle." Kyle said, cutting the boy off.

"Wait." Stan raised a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He fell silent for a few seconds before speaking up again. "Kyle as in Kyle Broflovski?"

Kyle nodded a few times, his previous fear being replaced with excitement. Though Stan shook his head and stood up, picking up Sparky on his way. His face became stone cold and he lowered his voice.

"Don't come here ever again. It's... it's not safe."

"What? Dude, the same goes to you! Don't you know that there's a vampire lurking around here?" Kyle furrowed his brows and stood up, his hand flying up to grasp Stan's shoulder. He couldn't help, but notice how cold it was, but he dismissed it because of the cold weather and the fact that Stan was wearing only a long-sleeved shirt with no jacket. "Why are you here anyway? You should come with us!"

But as soon as Kyle turned to his still frozen in shock friends, Stan vanished without a trace yet again.


	2. A douchebag straight outta Twilight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"Time to nope the fuck out, screw you guys!"**

** Saturday, 7:50pm **

"What the- Where did he go?!" Kyle's voice raised in panic as he turned to look around, but there was no sign of Stan anywhere. Not even footsteps in the dirt. Kyle ran back to Kenny and Cartman, his eyes going wide, threatening to pop off and his breath coming out in unsteady puffs of steam because of the low temperature. He was on the verge of hyperventilating. "Did- Did you guys see this? I'm not hallucinating, right? Kenny, tell me you got this on camera!"

Kenny nodded slowly and lowered the camera, stopped the recording and opened the finished video. He and Kyle sat down on the ground and Cartman followed suit soon after. They watched the recording carefully and sure enough, Stan was there. But when it came to the point of his disappearance, it was just... he was there, and in the next moment he was gone. It was as simple as that.

"Holy shit- I take my words back. I think... that's the vampire." Cartman said at the end and looked up to the still unbelieving Kenny and the panicking Kyle.

Kenny shook his head and released the camera, letting it fall in front of his chest. He ran his hands through his hair, then lowered them to catch Kyle's shoulders and shake him back and forth.

"Dude, stop panicking! Calm down. It's okay, we'll figure this out like we always do."

"But that- that was Stan right there, and he, he... he just vanished." Kyle muttered and flicked his gaze between Kenny and Cartman. Even Cartman joined in with trying to calm Kyle down by patting his back lightly. Though it didn't help much as Kyle was still in a state of shock. But at least he wasn't freaking out like he was a few minutes ago. "That's... insane. Even more insane than Satan having a party on earth and aliens and anal probes-"

"Come on now. We'll talk about it when we get back home."

Kenny gave a comforting squeeze to Kyle's shoulders, then got up. Cartman followed suit, as well as Kyle. Though Kyle stood in his place, so Cartman and Kenny had to drag him back to the parking lot.

They were so concentrated on getting in the car that they didn't notice the dark figure that followed them until coming to a stop behind a tree near the parking lot. Though a much smaller figure ran after them and hopped in the car under the passenger seat.

A hushed startled whisper came after that, "Sparky- Oh, for fuck's sake!"

Needless to say, Sparky didn't listen, so Stan had to follow the car as it drove away from the store and down towards the resident area of South Park.

** Saturday, 8:10pm **

By the time the boys reached their apartment, Kyle had already recovered from his zombie state and now hurried to unlock the door and go in first. Kenny and Cartman followed him, but they almost tripped in the dog that dashed between them and after Kyle, its ears and tongue flopping around as it ran.

"What the fucking- fuck?!" Cartman exclaimed and jumped back. "What was that?"

Kenny actually screamed, but quickly covered his mouth with both hands before sighing in relief.

"It's just Sparky." Kenny muttered and let out a forced laugh. Then it dawned on him and his smile faded. "Wait."

Kenny and Cartman scrambled to go in the apartment, almost getting stuck at the entrance, scrambling to close the door and follow the trail of dirty dog paws to the living room. Kyle was nowhere in sight- no, scratch that. He was sitting on the floor, laughing and trying to push away the dog that had found its way in his lap and was currently covering Kyle's cheeks with saliva.

"What the actual fuck? How did he get here?" Kenny asked as he took a step closer to Kyle and Sparky.

"I don't know, but-" Kyle turned his head away from the dog's merciless attacks of affection. He finally managed to get away from Sparky by catching him and lifting him in the air. "Damn, you're heavy."

Kenny blinked down at Kyle, then looked up at Cartman.

"If Sparky's here..." Kenny started.

"Then Stan's gonna come for him." Cartman finished, and right after that, he and Kenny took off to search for cameras and ropes. They didn't exactly want to hurt the vampire as he turned out to be Stan, but they could still get some information from him. Before Cartman reached his room he shouted, "Hold him there, Kahl!"

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but did as he was told and got up to sit on the couch. Though he didn't release Sparky and instead proceeded to hold him up and away from his face.

Kenny and Cartman returned in the matter of seconds. Kenny started putting cameras around the room while Cartman left the rope he found on the couch. He also had a small pistol in his hand, and Kyle and Kenny prayed that it was loaded with tranquilizers instead of real bullets. That would be too heartless even for Cartman.

And so, the boys waited.

And waited.

Until finally, a knock came from the window. From the damn window of all places, and they were on the fifth floor! But still, there was Stan, clear as a day, standing on the balcony and looking rather pissed as he scanned the room for his dog. When his eyes stopped on Kyle, the latter gave him an apologetic smile and held Sparky close to him when Cartman gave him an order to 'not hold it like this'.

Kenny took a deep breath and walked over the window to open it, his fingers trembling as he did so. Stan sighed exasperatedly and pushed himself up and over the window. Then he jumped down next to Kenny, his gaze remaining fixated on Kyle.

"I believe you found my dog-" He started, but was cut off by Cartman shooting at his leg. And yes, it was an actual bullet. Though it didn't seem to faze Stan in the slightest bit as the bullet left behind a gaping wound that closed in on itself. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but that won't work."

Cartman clicked his tongue and walked behind the couch. Kyle also leaned back when Stan approached them. As for Kenny, he waited for Stan to reach out and take Sparky, then pounced on him with one arm wrapped around his neck, pressing on his throat, and the other holding his left arm down. Kyle took it as a cue to jump to the side and out of the way before Stan fell down to the couch from the impact. In the meantime, Cartman hurried to get the rope and go around the couch to try and wrap it around Stan's wrists as soon as the latter rolled around in a weak attempt of getting Kenny off his back. He also tried to elbow Kenny in the ribs, but Cartman caught his hand just in time to pull it up and away from Kenny.

"God dammit, stop moving around so much!" Cartman complained as he tried to battle with the kicks and punches that were sent his way. "Kahl, don't just stand there being beautiful or whatever! Move your ass!"

"Guys, I'm- I can't handle him any longer!" Kenny joined in, grunting as his back slammed in the edge of the couch when Stan turned abruptly, his free hand trying to move Kenny's arm away.

Kyle shook his head and left Sparky on the floor before running to his friends' aid. That whole idea was ridiculous, but he still helped by catching Stan's legs to hold them in place. Of course, that came with the price of a boot coming down hard on his jaw, but thankfully, Cartman finished with tying Stan's wrists, then his ankles as fast as possible.

"I'll- fucking... kill you guys!" Stan growled in between coughs after Kenny released him and let him fall and sit on the ground. Sparky ran up to him and nudged his elbow, so Stan scowled at him. "Not now, Sparky."

Kenny and Kyle also sat on the floor, but on a fair distance away from Stan as they tried to catch their breath while Cartman grinned victoriously and bent down to eye-level with Stan.

"How's the weather down there, Stanny boy?"

"Fuck you." Stan snarled as he looked down at Cartman's neck, but he was quick to pull away and avert his gaze, the corner of his upper lip curling in disgust.

"Okay, sorry about that, but-" Kenny started, but Stan glared at him too, so he shut his mouth.

"Do you still mean no harm?" Stan snapped, his gaze trailing to Kyle. "Liar."

A quiet whine came from Sparky and he walked in front of Kyle as if to defend him from Stan's accusing glare.

"We just... want answers, and you didn't look like you were gonna give them willingly." Kyle explained simply.

Stan fell silent as he looked around the boys. Kyle and Kenny just stood there motionless, waiting for Stan to say something, and there was Cartman who grinned down at him.

"I'm not telling you anything." Stan finally said and leaned back on the couch.

"But-" Kyle started, "You've been gone for- for... since third grade! You owe us at least a brief explanation!"

"Yeah, man. We were trying to look for you, you know." Kenny joined in, his brows furrowing in sympathy. 

But Stan still didn't budge.

"As I said, I'm not telling you."

"Then we'll just let you starve until you realize that it'll be easier if you just tell us everything you know." Cartman calmly said and took a seat on the couch, dangerously close to Stan. 

And of course, Stan took the advantage and whipped his head to the side to sink his teeth in Cartman's thigh. Cartman _shrieked_ and tried to pull his leg away. Kyle and Kenny shot up to go and help him, but Stan detached himself right after tasting Cartman's blood. His face scrunched up in disgust as he spat the blood on the floor next to him.

"Time to nope the fuck out, screw you guys!" Cartman shouted, stood up and stormed off to the safety of his room in the matter of seconds.

"So... he still hates needles." Kenny noted with a nervous laugh. He shook his head and scooped up Sparky who had been lying down next to Kyle until now. Then he looked up to Kyle after giving a quick glance to Stan. "I'll go and get some food for Sparky. Are you gonna be okay?"

Kyle nodded in response and sat back down in front of Stan after Kenny turned to leave the room. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked up to Stan's eyes, beginning an unspoken staring contest. So Stan stared back, his jaw clenching and unclenching from time to time.

"So...?" Kyle broke the silence after a while, though he remained focused on not breaking the eye contact. "Mind telling me why you look like a douchebag straight out of Twilight?"

"Oh, now you're calling me a douchebag? That's not a nice way to welcome an old friend. Especially with those ropes." Stan pointed out and slumped forward, his elbows coming to rest on his knees.

"Okay, then. Sorry, _Stanley_. You're a perfectly cool vampire who isn't like those douchebags on TV at all."

Stan narrowed his eyes upon hearing his full name, but still didn't avert his gaze.

"Hey, what's that thing down there?"

"What thing?"

"I swear I saw something move. Probably a mouse or something."

"We haven't had any mice up here though."

"Then a bug?"

Kyle furrowed his brows in confusion, but looked down only to see Stan flipping him off. He gasped and looked up to glare at Stan who grinned, showing his long canine teeth.

"Gotcha."

"Dude!" Kyle protested, throwing his hands in the air before lowering them to slap them against his thighs. "That wasn't fair at all!"

Stan shook his head and started laughing, the sound of it filling the room. Kyle glared at him for a while, but couldn't resist to let out a breathy chuckle before clearing his throat and turning back to his serious expression. Though whatever he tried to look more intimidating, didn't work. After all these years he was still soft for Stan, that was for sure.

"What is it?" Stan asked after he stopped laughing. He brought his hand, well, both hands, to wipe away the happy tears from the corners of his eyes.

"Nothing? Why?" Kyle replied as soon as he snapped out of it. He didn't even realize he was staring, but how could he not? That was one of his childhood friends after all, now grown up and... turned into a vampire somehow.

"Whatever you say." Stan muttered and leaned forward. His eyes turned red as he locked them on Kyle's again, though this time Kyle really couldn't look away, even if he wanted to. "Say, don't you think it's a little too much for me to have even my legs tied?"

"Yeah... Cartman went a bit overboard with it..." Kyle replied, nodding slowly as he started working on untying the rope around Stan's ankles.

"Sorry about kicking you earlier by the way." Stan said quickly, then cleared his throat and lifted his hands. "Now take this off too."

"But... You still haven't told us anything about why you're like this." Kyle protested, though his voice remained quiet and he slowly reached out to Stan's hands.

"And I don't mean to tell you because it doesn't matter. So now you're gonna untie me and let me escape after I take Sparky, okay?" Stan finished with a smile. His eyes started to sting from all the staring without blinking, but he couldn't stop the hypnosis now. Not yet. Though his inexperience and exhaustion were made obvious by the way Kyle partially disobeyed him. "Come on. Hurry up."

Kyle nodded again and began untying the rope, but he stopped when the front door slammed open along with a shout of 'I'm back, bitches!'. He blinked rapidly and looked down at his hands, still dazed.

Stan huffed out in frustration and stood up, going behind Kyle in what seemed to be one fluid movement.

"Sorry about that." He whispered, and lowered his arms to wrap one around Kyle's neck.

Kenny joined them in that moment, holding a bag of dog food and Sparky in his hands. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes going wide.

"Stan, what- what are you doing?"

"Get up." Stan whispered to Kyle, and the latter did just that, though he tried to push Stan's arm away. It didn't work. Stan turned his attention to Kenny. "Do you mind giving me my dog? I really don't wanna hurt any of you."

"What? No! You leave Kyle alone!" Kenny retorted and along with him, Sparky barked, joining in the conversation. "Are you seriously doing this just for the dog?"

"I am, now give him to me, Kenny!"

"I suggest you really do it because he's kinda choking me right now." Kyle added and motioned to Stan's forearm that pressed on his throat as a warning before loosening his grip a bit.

"Wha- I won't until you give us answers! And you won't dare to hurt Kyle anyway." Kenny said matter-of-factly and left the dog food in his feet.

"Kenny, you're still a dumbass." Kyle muttered through gritted teeth.

"So you think I won't hurt him? Very well." Stan said with a sigh as his arms moved down to wrap around Kyle's torso. "Then I'll just-"

"Cartman, get your fat ass over here!" Kenny shouted, turning his head to look at the door to Cartman's room. He waited for Cartman to go out, then nodded to Stan and Kyle. "Stan wants his dog back."

"Well of course he does!" Cartman huffed out a laugh and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "But we're not gonna give it, so fuck you, Stan!"

Stan quirked a brow in confusion.

"Guys, I'm trying to sound like a bad guy here. Give me a little credit."

"Yeah, well, it isn't really working." Kyle pointed out and tried to break free from the grasp again, but he didn't have much space to move with his arms tightly pressed in his sides. The thought of kicking Stan passed through his mind, but that would be a low blow. Literally.

"Yeah, dude, everyone knows you're just gonna come back for your dog-" Kenny started as he took a step forward, but Stan made his way back to the window where he came from. "Woah wait! What are you- Stan!"

Though Stan didn't stop as he took a few more steps towards the open window. Kyle didn't have much options, so he followed him... and out the window they went in a flash. 

"Holy shit- Stan, what the fuck?! Let me go!" Kyle protested at first, but when his brain registered that were actually above South Park... flying? Soaring? Really, what the actual fuck was happening? "Ichangemyminddon'tletmego!"

"Dude, stop screaming and don't look down." Stan warned, eerily calm despite the fact that they were already at least a hundred feet above the ground.

"It's too late for that!" Kyle retorted and looked over his shoulder only to see a huge pair of bat wings that somehow sprouted from Stan's back like he was the fucking Batman. "Holy shiii-"

"Kyle, I'm serious. Stop freaking out or I'm gonna drop you." Stan lowered his gaze to regard Kyle, then looked forward again.

"I swear if we die, I'm gonna kill you! Even if you don't die, I'm gonna haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Stan rolled his eyes and kept quiet until finally, upon reaching the forest, he lowered down and landed on the ground.

"If I let you go now, are you gonna run?" He asked, and Kyle shook his head in response. So Stan raised his arms over Kyle's head to release him, however, as soon as he did that, Kyle tried to run away. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and cursed under his breath before running after Kyle. He caught up with him in a second and got in his way. For Kyle it seemed that Stan teleported again because of his speed, so more freaking out ensued. "Dude, stop it. I'm getting tired. And you can't really run away, so I suggest you stop trying."

"But you- you- first that, that super speed thing, now you have wings?! Don't vampires turn into bats to fly?" Kyle's voice raised in panic again as he took a step back and waved his hands around, motioning to Stan and the wings that disappeared after a second.

Stan raised a brow, then shook his head.

"Why does everyone think that I transform in a tiny bat when I can be a bat and a human at the same time? Dude, that's full-on Batman mode!" Stan defended, and now was Kyle's turn to raise a sceptic brow. "I mean, I don't know. Either it's a defect from my turning or other vampires are the same way."

"Wait, wait. So there are other vampires?"

Stan replied with an 'uh-huh' and raised his hands in front of his face to try and bite through the rope on his wrists.

"Holy shit- But, how did you get turned into a vampire?"

"Not telling you." Stan replied after he got rid of the rope and twisted his wrists around. He slipped his hands in his pockets and started making his way around the trees, following a barely visible path. "Follow me. And don't try to run again."

"Okay, ugh... Then... Do you have super strength?" Kyle asked as he caught up with Stan. Now that he thought about it(and the voice recorder in his pocket), it was a good idea to stay as long as he could with Stan in order to get the much-needed information.

"Not really."

"Can you become invisible?"

"Nope."

"Hm... Is silver a threat to you?"

"No comment."

"So it is."

"I didn't say that!"

"Now you're denying it."

Kyle thought for a moment, then moved his hand in front of Stan's face to show him the silver 'protection charm'. Sure enough, Stan flinched away from it, his eyes widening.

"Dude, what the fuck?! Get that away from me!" Stan almost shouted, but then huffed in frustration upon realizing that he just answered Kyle's question indirectly. "Fuck you, Kyle."

"Sorry, sorry." Kyle raised his hands in defeat. "But... If I remove it, are you gonna try to drink my blood?"

"Is that a suggestion? If it is, no thanks. I'm not really hungry right now." Stan deadpanned.

Kyle sighed and fell silent while thinking for another question. He didn't even realize when Stan came to a stop in front of a cave, so Stan patted his shoulder and, without a word, proceeded to walk into the cave. Though Kyle stopped in his tracks and didn't look like he was willing to move any further.

"What now?" Stan muttered with a bored sigh as he turned to face Kyle. "Are you afraid of the dark?"

"No, but that's the problem. It's too dark and I can't see anything." Kyle explained, "And why are we even here?"

"I _live_ here. I'm a half-bat, remember?" Kyle replied with a quiet 'oh', but still didn't move from his place. Stan rolled his eyes and reached out, taking Kyle's hands. "Come on. I'll lead you."

Kyle sucked in a deep breath and took a step forward, then another one under Stan's guidance of 'there are stairs in front of you', 'it's slippery here' and 'stop squeezing me so hard'.

"Hey, that reminds me of these games where one person walks around various obstacles blindfolded and another person gives them directions." Kyle pointed out after a minute of walking around. His eyes were slowly getting accustomed to the darkness, but for now he could only make out Stan's glowing eyes and his silhouette, as well as the outlines of the stalagmites and stalactites that surrounded them. The air grew colder and colder as they made their way deeper into the cave, and it didn't help that Stan's hands were equally cold.

"We're here." Stan announced as he came to a stop upon reaching one of the chambers in the cave. He navigated Kyle to sit down on something soft and released his hands.

Upon further inspection, Kyle found out that it was a... blanket? No, more like two blankets.

"I used these on my first days here." Stan explained, answering Kyle’s unspoken question and sat down in front of him.

"So what do we do now?" Kyle asked while rubbing his hands to try and warm them up. It didn't work, so he slipped them under the collar of his jacket to press them on the sides of his neck.

"Nothing. We sit and wait until Cartman and Kenny decide to return my dog."

"Well, that's a hell of a great plan you got there. Good job."


	3. Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"But maybe you just charmed him or something. I admit - he really has low standards sometimes-"**

** Saturday, 8:35pm **

"Okay... What the fuck do we do now?" Kenny asked, still dazed and still staring the open window as Sparky barked and squirmed in his arms.

Cartman shook his head and paced around the room.

Their plan didn't work at all. And Kyle probably went and untied Stan so that Stan could take him hostage just to get his dog. And speaking of the dog... Wasn't it supposed to be dead already? How old was it? 

That was ridiculous. But... maybe Cartman was at fault for leaving Kenny and Kyle to guard Stan?

No, Cartman was innocent as always. It was Kenny's fault because he left Kyle and Stan alone. And everyone with a little grey matter knew that Stan and Kyle were inseparable when they were kids and they always did everything they could to help each other with anything.

Cartman groaned in annoyance as he took one of the cameras to see what happened after he retreated to his room. He made a mental note to cut the shriek of terror when Stan bit him. That shouldn't be seen by the world if they were to give the recordings to the police or upload them on their website.

"That sneaky son of a bitch..." Cartman trailed off as he saw Kyle untying Stan. But there was something wrong with it. Almost like he was under a hypnosis. "Hey, Kinny, take a look at this!"

Kenny furrowed his brows in confusion and let Sparky jump to the ground before he went over to Cartman. Cartman rewinded the video to the point where Stan's eyes changed their color, and pointed an accusing finger to the screen.

"It seems that he can hypnotize people. Just look at how dazed Kahl looks!"

Kenny nodded slowly and squinted at the small camera screen.

"From the research I did last night, I didn't read anything about vampires being able to hypnotize people. Also, are you fucking stupid, Cartman? Why did you shoot Stan? What if you injured him for real?!"

Kenny snapped up to frown at Cartman who placed a hand on his chest and gasped.

"I tried to stop him from hurting you guys! And he's immortal, Kinny! Don't you try to accuse me because I defended ourselves!"

Kenny sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Okay, let's concentrate on finding Kyle now. We haven't seen Stan for over 10 years and he's apparently a vampire now, so we don't know if he's friendly or not. Who knows what they're doing now!"

"Uh, probably fucking?" Cartman guessed as he walked around the room to get the rest of the cameras. "It would be super kewl to see Kahl in pain, you know. Because I'm still mad at him for being such a pain in the ass... aside from the anal probe."

"Dude! I'm being serious!" Kenny protested and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "We didn't leave you to suffer four years ago, so we should go and help Kyle!"

"Ugh, seriously..." Cartman sighed and turned to look at Kenny. "Okay, then do you have an idea where Stan might have gone?"

"Well... We could try and search in that part of the forest again."

"And possibly try to negotiate with him... Okay then. Let's go!"

** Saturday, 8:50pm **

Stan and Kyle entered a staring contest again, though this time Kyle was inspecting Stan's eyes instead of pointlessly staring at them.

"Why are they glowing?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Stan retorted and narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Your eyes." Kyle said simply and leaned forward a bit. "It's kinda cool actually. Maybe it's a side effect or it's this way so that you can see in the dark better?"

Stan pulled back when Kyle got closer to him. Even if he wasn't really hungry now, the sound of Kyle's heartbeat was just too much. And his getting even closer didn't help at all, so Stan stood up and went to sit on a nearby rock.

"Hey, what happened? If you're not gonna give me answers, at least let me figure them out myself!" Kyle protested and brought one of the blankets up to wrap it around himself.

"If you want answers so much, here's one - I can smell your blood even from here and by getting in my personal space, you're outright offering me the opportunity to hurt you, even if you don't want it."

Kyle raised his brows and blinked up at Stan, then slumped down to cover his neck with the blanket.

"But you won't do it, right?"

"I might _consider_ doing it. All I'm saying is, you better watch out until Kenny and Cartman come." Just as he said that, Stan's eyes shot wide open and he jumped up.

Kyle stood up too, but still didn't release the blanket.

"What? You heard something?"

Stan nodded and shot him a quick glance as he said, "You wait here." And with that, Stan disappeared down the path they came from.

"Dude, are you serious?" Kyle shouted after him, but the only thing that he heard as an answer was his own echo. "Yeah, that's what I thought too." He mumbled grumpily and sat back down, wrapping the blanket tighter and curling in on himself. This whole situation was just perfect. He didn't have a phone or a flashlight and aside from the darkness, he could get lost in these chambers and tunnels. The only option now was to sit like a statue and wait for Stan to come back.

Stan went out of the cave and looked around to find the direction from which he heard the footsteps. They were approaching from the parking lot. Again. So Stan headed in that direction and soon enough came face to face with Kenny and Cartman. Though Sparky was nowhere in sight.

"Oh, hey there, Stan... Marsh, right?" Cartman greeted as he came to a stop in front of Stan. Unlike their first encounter, he didn't look nervous at all now. Well, that's Cartman for you after all.

"You remember?" Stan started quietly, but then raised his voice again. "Where is Sparky?"

"Eh, not really. Kahl has a whole wall dedicated to you and your case, so we went through it before coming here. Anyway, I'll stop beating around the bush now. When you give us answers to our questions, we'll give you Sparky back." Cartman finished with a grin and pulled out a notepad and a pen from the bag that was slung on his shoulder.

"Uh, and Kyle. We also want Kyle back." Kenny added.

"Nah, we don't really need hi-" Cartman started, but Kenny nudged his side, so he smiled nervously. "Okay, yeah. We want answers _and_ Kahl."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought over his options. He could go back to the apartment and take Sparky himself, but then he would be leaving Kyle alone and probably freezing in the cave. And he couldn't find a way out himself, Kenny and Cartman also could get lost there...

Stan sighed exasperatedly and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Okay. I'm listening."

"Sweet." Cartman remarked, then cleared his throat. "First question - how did you become a vampire?"

"Drank blood from another vampire." Stan said as a matter of fact.

"How does one just go and drink-" Kenny started, but now Cartman nudged him, so he shut his mouth with a quiet 'hmph'.

"Second question - did you kill those people and if you did, why?" Cartman proceeded and readied his pen to write down the next answer.

"Uh, yeah. I was hungry. I didn't really want to kill them, but it was kinda inevitable."

"Hm... Interesting." Cartman nodded and looked up to Stan. "And where were you until this month?"

Stan opened and closed his mouth, his eyebrows furrowing again.

"That doesn't matter."

Cartman exchanged a look with Kenny. Kenny shrugged, so Cartman continued, "Okay, then... What abilities do you have? Enhanced strength or senses? Hypnosis? We saw you hypnotizing Kahl. But maybe you just charmed him or something. I admit - he really has low standards sometimes-" Another elbow in the ribs later, Cartman jumped to the side and away from Kenny. "Stop that Kinny!"

"God..." Stan muttered under his breath and leaned on a nearby tree. Why did Cartman have to be so annoying? This was becoming really bothersome. "Yes, I hypnotized him. And yes, my senses are enhanced, but I had to work out the strength."

"Okay... And why do you feed once a week?" Cartman asked again, much to Stan's disappointment. Even Kenny was already growing impatient.

"Because I don't want to go near people so often. Are you done with the questions already?"

"For now, yeah." Cartman nodded and put his notepad and pen back in the bag. "Kinny, you stay here while I take Sparky."

Kenny and Stan exchanged a look after Cartman started making his way back to the parking lot. Kenny took a cautious step towards Stan and gave him a small nervous smile.

"So, uh... How are you? Are you angry because of the ropes?"

Stan just shrugged it off and averted his gaze. This was becoming even more awkward than the time he spent with Kyle.

"Um..." Kenny started again and cleared his throat. "Do you wanna talk about why you decided it's a good idea to drink vampire's blood?" Stan remained silent, so Kenny quickly added, "I mean, it's cool if you don't wanna tell me. But it just... I don't know, man. It was a really big shock for us when you disappeared. We were... I don't know about Cartman, but Kyle and I couldn't get over it for over a year. We thought you were dead."

Stan finally looked at Kenny and his sincere expression. His own face softened, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Kenny about the stupid decision his childish brain took. Nobody had to know about it. It was just... unnecessary information. Though it seemed that Kenny and Kyle still cared about him. Even Cartman. But it still didn't mean that he was just going to tell them everything.

"Anyway. I'll go get Kyle." Stan finally said instead of giving another answer. He turned to go back to the cave, but he didn't hear Kenny following him, so he stopped to look over his shoulder. "Are you coming?"

Kenny sighed, but nodded and followed Stan. Sure, he was disappointed by Stan's cold attitude, but at least he wasn't pushing him away, so maybe not all hope was lost. Though Kenny had to stop by the entrance of the cave when his phone beeped. Probably a notification from Tinder, he figured, and took his phone out of his pocket.

"Butters? What's with this name?" Stan asked as he took a peek at Kenny's phone.

"It's just a nickname. His name is Leo." Kenny replied, his lips stretching in a wide smile. "But enough about that. Go to Kyle now." He looked up to Stan and either he was hallucinating or Stan really did give him the slightest smile before turning to go in the cave.

It wasn't long before Stan reached the place where Kyle was.

"Hey, dude-" Stan started, but there was no answer or sign of movement from Kyle aside from his breathing. When Stan got closer, he saw that Kyle was still curled in on himself with his head on his knees... and he was sleeping. Just when Stan thought he wouldn't need to carry him again... "Kyle... wake up."

No answer again.

"Dude..."

Stan sighed and picked Kyle up after a minute of figuring out how exactly he was going to do it. In the end he settled on just wrapping his arms around Kyle's knees and back, though he was still heavy as hell. Thankfully, the short walk to the entrance of the cave was uneventful.

"Woah. I didn't expect that." Kenny remarked, grinning as he saw Stan and the sleeping Kyle. Though his smile faded in a second. "Wait. You didn't drain his blood, did you?"

"I wouldn't do that." Stan replied, accompanied by an eye-roll. "I ate last night after all."

Kenny sighed in relief and pocketed his phone before leading the way to the parking lot. By the time they reached it, Cartman was already pulling over in front of them. As soon as he opened the door on his side, Sparky jumped over him and out of the car, running up to Stan and propping his front legs on his thigh. Stan smiled at him, but he quickly got serious again as he watched Cartman get out himself with a grumpy expression.

"Did you do something to him?"

"I could ask you the same about Kahl." Cartman retorted, "But I don't because I don't give a fuck."

Stan raised a brow at him, then turned his attention back to Kyle and walked over to the car. Kenny opened the door to the backseat, so Stan thanked him and left Kyle there. He also tucked the blanket around him tighter, but he did it as fast and inconspicuous as possible before pulling back and scooping Sparky up before he could go to Kyle. Again. He was already feeling jealous of his dog showing more affection to someone else, but... after all, it was Kyle who got Sparky rid of that sliver.

Stan shook his head to get rid of his thoughts and stepped back and away from the car, muttering a 'bye' before turning to walk into the forest again.

"You should come by sometime for, uh, coffee or something." Kenny called out, halfway in getting into the passenger seat.

Stan just nodded in response and after a second he was gone again. But this time Kenny and Cartman felt somehow at ease. Even if Cartman didn't show it, he was also glad that they managed to get the much needed information about Stan's disappearance. However there were still many unanswered questions, so maybe they would meet again sometime.


	4. The disappearance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"What is it, Kahl? You feel bad because your boyfriend isn't here?"**

** 13 years ago; Tuesday, 3:00pm **

"You guys, you guys! You won't believe what happened!" Cartman shouted as soon as he barged in Stan's house to join him, Kyle and Kenny who were already sitting on the couch and playing video games. Cartman's excitement went away as soon as he saw them playing and he sighed exasperatedly as he made his way to the couch. "I was seriously when I told you to wait for me..."

"Yeah, sure." Stan replied monotonously, disinterested in Cartman's arrival. His eyes remained focused on the TV, his tongue poking out as he practically smashed the buttons on the controller.

"Go, Stan! You almost got him!" Kyle exclaimed and squeezed Stan's shoulder before turning to Kenny. "Nothing personal, Kenny."

Kenny rolled his eyes, then narrowed them at the racing game they were playing. Stan has almost reached the finish line, so Kenny decided to just give up and left the controller in his lap, sighing and muttering a disappointed 'aw'.

Cartman shot a glance to the TV that announced 'winner: player 2', then walked in front of it and spread his arms to hide the screen.

"Now will you stop ignoring me?"

"Damn, dude, you look pissed." Stan pointed out and followed Kenny's example in leaving the controller in his lap.

"No shit, Stan! You guys ignored me for a whole minute!" Cartman retorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Okay, you got our attention now." Kyle sighed and copied Cartman's pose, with the exception that he was sitting and Cartman wasn't. "What happened?"

"I saw..." Cartman started, then paused in order to get the others worked up(though he succeeded in making them bored). "...A vampire!"

"Mphmmphh mmph mph mph!" Kenny exclaimed, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"Of course they exist, Kinny! They're everywhere on TV! Haven't you watched 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' or 'Interview with a vampire'? No, wait, don't answer that. I forgot your parents are so poor that they can't afford a TV."

Kenny flipped Cartman off in response, then crossed his arms and looked away. Stan and Kyle exchanged glances before looking back to Cartman again.

"Kenny's right, Cartman. That's bullshit." Kyle joined in, "Vampires are just made up and they're real only on TV."

Stan nodded along, but after giving it a second thought, he spoke up again.

"What did you see exactly?"

"Well, they were lurking around the playground, but like, they were standing in the shadows. And then some kid ran up to them for some reason and they attacked the kid right then and there!"

"Are you sure it wasn't a child molester?" Stan asked sceptically, though he seemed interested for some reason.

"I'm seriously!" Cartman confirmed. And he did look serious, but Kyle and Kenny refused to believe him... unlike Stan. "I saw the blood dripping from their mouth when they finished! I'm a hundred percent sure that it was a vampire!"

"Jesus Christ..." Kyle whispered, his eyes going wide. "We should go and see for ourselves."

Kenny and Stan whipped to look at Kyle, bewildered.

"Dude, didn't you say it's bullshit?" Stan huffed out a chuckle and shook his head, then stood up. "But still, you're right."

"Mph mmph mphmmph mmph!" Kenny pointed an accusing finger to Cartman as he also stood up after Kyle did.

"Yeah, whatever, Kinny. I'm not lying, so don't get your hopes up that I'll give you some of my snacks." Cartman dismissed and led the way out of the house.

Stan, Kyle and Kenny followed him to the playground, but there were no vampires in sight. Not even adults for that matter.

"Yep. I knew you were lying." Kyle muttered and turned to walk away, but Stan caught his wrist to stop him.

"Dude, it was your idea to come and see for ourselves." Stan argued and nodded to a nearby bench. "Let's just go over there and wait for the vampire to show up, then we'll go back."

"Yeah! They must be back soon." Cartman added and went over the bench to sit down. Kyle sighed, and he, Kenny and Stan joined Cartman on the bench.

They waited for what seemed to be an eternity(more like five minutes), but there were only kids on the playground. Still no sign of a vampire.

"Okay, I'm going home now." Kyle finally said and jumped down to the ground. Kenny nodded and followed him, and soon enough Stan and Cartman also went after them.

Cartman complained and argued with Kenny and Kyle the whole time. Stan was the only one who seemed to think hard about something and sneaked glances over his shoulder as if he expected someone else to be following them.

** Wednesday, 10:30am **

Cartman, Kenny and Kyle made their way in the cafeteria. Stan hasn't come to school that day, but they thought he was probably sick or just late. But still, they couldn't help, but feel that something was wrong. Well, except Cartman - he was munching on his food like nothing had happened. In contrast to him, Kyle and Kenny just stared at the table absentmindedly. A few minutes passed, and Kyle pushed his tray of food in front of Kenny.

"You eat it. I don't feel like eating." Kyle mumbled and propped his elbow on the table, resting his cheek on his palm.

"What is it, Kahl? You feel bad because your boyfriend isn't here?" Cartman grinned even though his mouth was still full.

"He's not my boyfriend, fatass!" Kyle retorted, his cheeks growing red with anger as he looked up to frown at Cartman. "I'm just worried. And how can you not be worried too? Stan is our friend! And friends look out and care for each other because-"

"Yeah, yeah. You can stop here. I'm not in the mood to hear your speeches." Cartman muttered, cutting Kyle off and proceeding to eat.

Contrary to that, Kenny still didn't give a sign of wanting to eat, neither did Kyle.

"He just looked really out of it yesterday." Kyle started again, quieter this time. "After that thing with the vampire... I don't know, I have a bad feeling about this."

Kenny nodded and sighed. Cartman just rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, he's probably sick. Or Wendy dumped him again and he's sulking in his room. Either way, he's gonna come back soon."

Though Kyle and Kenny weren't convinced, so after school they dragged Cartman along to Stan's house.

Needless to say, they were extremely surprised when Stan's father opened the door and let them in wordlessly while his wife was sitting on the couch, crying.

"Boys..." Sharon started as she looked up to Kyle, Kenny and Cartman. "Have you... Have you seen Stanley? He... wasn't in his room this morning. This... This isn't like him at all!" She sobbed and covered her face with one hand while Randy sat next to her and tried to calm her down.

Kyle and Kenny exchanged a shocked look, then looked over to Cartman. Kyle was the first one to answer, and when he did, his voice wavered at the realization that dawned on him slowly.

"Yesterday we went to the playground to look for a-" Cartman nudged Kyle's side as a sign for him to shut up, but he just shook his head and continued, "...a vampire. But- There wasn't anything there, so we came back."

"But vampires don't exist." Randy said and furrowed his brows as he looked at his wife who wiped her eyes and took a deep breath to calm down.

"Oh my God... What if he went there again?" Sharon's eyes widened and she stood up. "We have to tell the police! You'll come with us, right, boys?"

Kenny and Kyle nodded eagerly while Cartman sighed and made his way to the front door. That was more than the answer everyone needed, so they followed him, got in Randy's car and went to the police department. Sharon almost bawled her eyes out there while she explained the situation to one of the policemen. Kyle, Kenny and Cartman were asked to give their versions of what happened yesterday. They did everything they were instructed to, but at the end the policemen told them that they had to wait 48 hours before reporting a missing person. Cartman even tried to persuade them in going to look for Stan now, but the policemen argued that that was the law and they couldn't go against it. Of course, that was followed by Cartman saying that this was all bullshit. And at the end, Kenny convinced him and Kyle to go search for Stan themselves.

Nothing they found led to the vampire, but the boys didn't give up, and that was how the paranormal investigators became a thing.

** Present; Sunday, 8:20am **

Kyle rubbed his eyes after he woke up. He stared at the ceiling for a while, his gaze slowly trailing to the right where the wall was covered with newspaper pages and photos of Stan and the place of his disappearance. Maybe Kyle could fill some space if he prints some screenshots from the videos- No. That would be too creepy and stalker-like. He sighed and dismissed the thought, then sat up to take a better look around. The clock on his nightstand said 8:21am. So he overslept again. Good thing he wasn't working today, but even if he was, Kenny would wake him up in time.

He cast his gaze down to the blanket, only to see that over his own was another one, and it was covered with the initials T and P. Right. Terrance and Philip. he, Stan, Kenny and Cartman used to watch it together. That is, when there were four of them. Though Kenny and Cartman rewatched it occasionally even if they were already getting tired of the jokes. But this blanket was... wasn't it Stan's? Kyle expected Stan to take it back, yet there it was, on Kyle's bed. He should go and give it back to Stan tonight. But until then... he should probably listen to the recording from last night. So he stood up and took his jacket which was left on the chair next to his bed, took the voice recorder out and pressed the play button as he made his way in the living room and to the kitchen.

Cartman and Kenny were already there, sitting around the table and drinking coffee. It was weirdly quiet, the only sounds coming from the clicking of buttons when Cartman wrote on his laptop. Kenny was pretty much the same, but he was chatting on his phone. Probably with the guy from the other day. Kyle didn't really want to bother them, so he took the cup of coffee that waited for him on the table, and went back to the living room as he continued to listen to the recording.

Though he had to pause it after a few minutes when Kenny shouted his name, then came running to him with the phone in his hand.

"I really, really, really need your help! Cartman doesn't want to tag along, but you'll come, right?" Kenny blurted out as quick as a lightning when he came to a stop next to Kyle.

Kyle blinked up at him, furrowing his brows in confusion at Kenny's enthusiasm so early in the morning.

"What hap-"

"This guy is too sweet to be real!" Kenny exclaimed and practically shoved his phone in Kyle's face to show him the chat with Butters. "Look at this! Look at hiiim! He can't be real! And he wants us to meet! What if it's some old creep that wants to rape me in a dark alley? You have to come with me!"

Kyle pulled away to actually take a look at the chat and the last message that said 'Tweak bros, 9am, does it sound good to you?'. Kenny batted his eyelashes, so Kyle sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Can I finish my coffee first? I'm still not fully awake." Kyle muttered and took a sip from his coffee when Kenny nodded eagerly. Kyle still couldn't understand how the quiet kid of their little group became that loud, almost obnoxious adult, but... at least he was having fun, so maybe the change wasn't so bad.

"Yes! Thanks, dude!" Kenny grinned and ruffled Kyle's hair before running in his room to get dressed.

So much for the morning being quiet and peaceful...


	5. A day for dates and meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"I thought you were a _sucker_ for bananas."**
> 
> **"I'll shove a banana up your ass if you don't shut up."**

** Sunday, 9:02am **

"Oh my God! Sweet, sweet Jesus fucking Christ! He's real!" Kenny exclaimed after comparing a picture of Butters with the real Butters who was now sitting in a booth in Tweak bros and bumping his fists together as he looked around. Kenny bit his lip and turned to look at Kyle who was just about to enter the coffee shop. "Do I look okay?"

Kyle stopped in his tracks to look Kenny up and down. He fixed the collar of Kenny's shirt and quirked a brow.

"You look great, but seriously... Why dark red?"

"Because," Kenny started, puffing his chest out, "It's classy as fuck. And this shirt is tight, so I can show off some muscles without actually showing them."

"If it makes you more confident..." Kyle trailed as his gaze lowered to Kenny's ripped jeans. He nodded approvingly and gave a smile to Kenny along with a pat on his shoulder. "Go get him. I'll go in after you so it's not that obvious I'm here for your support.

Kenny nodded, took a deep breath and entered the coffee shop. Kyle watched him as he made his way towards the booth where Butters was. Kenny grinned and after they introduced each other, Butters offered him a hand to shake, but instead Kenny acted all Don-Juan-like and kissed the back of his hand before taking a seat opposite from the now flustered Butters. Kyle covered his mouth to hide his smile as he watched the exchange, but he quickly wiped it off of his face in order to not look suspicious as he walked in the coffee shop.

"Good morning!" Tweek greeted from his place behind the counter. He smiled and turned to Craig who was leaning beside him on the counter with his arms crossed as he eyed Kenny and Kyle, also known as the traitors who went to work at Harbucks instead of Tweak bros. "We sure have a lot of customers today!"

"Yes, honey." Craig replied monotonously and narrowed his eyes slightly when Kyle approached them. "What are you doing here, Broflovski? Yesterday your brother came here, now you and McCormick. Is there some shady plan I don't know about?"

"Well, good morning to you too, Craig. You're happy as ever, I see." Kyle remarked, making sure that his irony was obvious in his tone, and slipped his hands in his back pockets. "You'll scare off potential customers if you keep going like that, you know."

"Oh, excuse me. I forgot that you're a know-it-all and have more experience than me and Tweek put together when it comes to customer service." Craig retorted.

"I'm not saying that I know more than you." Kyle replied, then turned to Tweek with a smile. "Can you give me something sweet so I can get rid of your boyfriend's bitter attitude? Something without bananas. Thanks."

"I thought you were a _sucker_ for bananas." Craig pointed out.

"I'll shove a banana up your ass if you don't shut up." 

"Agh, Jesus!" Tweek exclaimed, raising his voice to get the attention of Craig and Kyle. "Don't fight like last time!"

"Don't worry, honey. We're just talking like old friends do." Craig explained and looked at Kyle again, flipping him off when Tweek wasn't looking. "Right, Broflovski?"

"Right." Kyle affirmed with a grin and returned the gesture. When Tweek gave him a chocolate muffin(the guy managed to remember every customer's preferences even if they came only once), Kyle paid him and, after another flipping off for goodbye from Craig, he went to the booth behind the one where Kenny and Butters were. Butters had his back turned to him, so Kyle gave a thumbs-up to Kenny before sitting down.

Kenny's date was going pretty well from what Kyle heard, and he was glad about it, but he still couldn't help, but think about yesterday. And what they should do about Stan's situation.

** Sunday, 11:30pm **

Cartman retreated to his room after Kenny sent a message to the group chat with him and Kyle that he was going to spend the night at Butters'. Kyle waited for Cartman to go away, then took Stan's blanket and sneaked out as quietly as he could. He also took the 'protection charm' and a flashlight just in case. The ride to the abandoned store was surprisingly short, probably because the roads were mostly empty at this hour.

Kyle was never afraid of the dark, but as he made his way through the forest, he felt uneasy. Something about the occasional hoots of the owls and the rustling of the bushes and leaves from the wind gave him an unsettling feeling. And it didn't help at all when his brain reminded him of the possibility of other vampires lurking around. But then again, he read the answers that Stan had given Cartman last night, so he assured himself that Stan was the only vampire in South Park.

With that thought in mind, he quickened his pace, but just when he saw the cave in the distance, he heard a crunching sound behind him, as if someone stepped on a fallen twig. He whipped around to illuminate the area with the flashlight. There was no one there. Just trees, bushes and grass. Probably a fox again, Kyle figured as he sighed in relief, but his heart still pounded erratically. That traitorous fucker. He placed a hand over it to calm down and turned around to continue on his way, but he was met by red eyes that glinted dangerously in the moonlight.

Kyle took a step back, almost stumbling as he did so. He gulped, his eyes widening the moment he saw that the person who stood in front of him wasn't Stan at all. They were a vampire, that was sure, but they looked more scary than Stan, the stray jet black hairs that flowed around from the wind throwing eery shadows on the stranger's face, their wide grin showing their long sharp fangs. They were shorter than Kyle with a few inches, but the air around them seemed to get thicker and darker, so it suceeded in intimidating Kyle. They chuckled and took a slow step forward. Kyle stepped back, but the stranger approached him, slowly, but surely, until Kyle's back hit a tree. He forgot about the silver bracelet around his wrist, but even if he was to remind himself about it, he couldn't move his hands as they now felt like lead, much like his legs did when he found himself pressed between the tree and the vampire.

"You must be Kyle, right?" The stranger asked, their voice low and raspy. They got even closer, taking a sniff at Kyle's exposed throat. "You smell delicious."

_What do I do, what do I do- Right!_

Kyle slapped himself mentally to snap out of his daze and willed his legs to move, so he could duck out of the way and around the stranger, but next thing he knew, his back slammed on the ground, the vampire was on top of him and their sharp teeth were coming dangerously close to his neck. So the flight option didn't work. He could as well use fighting then. Though as soon as Kyle raised his hand to grip the silver bracelet and shove it in the stranger's face, icy cold clawed hands caught his forearms to pin them to the ground. He tried with squirming around, but that still didn't help him.

"Get off him, Wendyl!" A voice near them growled.

_Wait. Stan?_

"Aw, you're no fun." The stranger whined and turned their head to Stan who approached them, his fists clenched tightly, eyes narrowed and fixated on the other vampire. "I just wanted to get a taste of him."

Kyle used the moment of distraction to try and free his arms, but the stranger kept their firm grip on him, even as Stan stood next to them.

"Get off him right now or I'll-"

"You'll what, Stan? Hit me? Ooh, so scary. I'm shaking in fear!" Wendyl taunted, their grin coming back as they looked up to Stan.

Stan growled in response and grabbed Wendyl's collar, dragging them up and away from Kyle.

"You know I don't want to hurt you, but I'm seriously considering doing it, so would you kindly fuck off?"

Wendyl laughed in Stan's face, their grin growing even wider.

"Why? I thought we were sharing."

"Because he's mine!" Stan retorted without even a second of thinking what he was saying. "You have Bebe, so back the fuck up and don't you dare touch _my_ Kyle again!"

Kyle scrambled to get up and retrieve his flashlight and the blanket from the ground, though his unbelieving eyes remained fixated on Stan and the other vampire.

Was it time to nope the fuck out while the vampires were distracted? Yes. Was Kyle about to do it? No because he still hasn't returned that blanket to Stan. Incredibly stupid reason indeed, but he went that far, so he may as well finish his job.

"Damn, you sure are possessive." Wendyl noted with a laugh. They pushed Stan away, taking a step back as they did so. "Well, have fun then. We'll talk about that later."

With that, Wendyl walked away, disappearing from sight after a second. Stan watched them go, then turned to Kyle, his expression softening for a brief moment before he scowled at him.

"What the hell did you come here again for? Have you lost your mind?! I told you it's not safe!" Stan shouted, then pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. His voice lowered again as he approached Kyle and looked him up and down for injuries. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

Kyle shook his head, dumbfounded by Stan's quick mood changes.

"I, uh..." He started and looked down to his hands, then up to Stan's face again, extending his hand to give him the blanket. Though instead of getting it, Stan took another step forward and wrapped his arms around Kyle, so Kyle's hand remained outstretched and he stared into the space in front of him, unsure of what to do. "Stan?"

"Shut up." Stan muttered and cast his gaze down, leaning his forehead on Kyle's shoulder and tightening his grip a bit.

Kyle blinked down at Stan and reluctantly returned the hug. His coldness was somehow... strangely soothing. And was he trembling...?

"You could have kept the damn blanket, dumbass." Stan spoke up again, though his voice became quieter and quieter. "Wendyl could have hurt you."

"But they didn't... Thanks to you." Kyle replied, equally quiet, but now that he admitted that, he couldn't help, but feel embarrassed that he couldn't defend himself. Thanks a lot to skipping the self-defense class that Kenny wanted them to attend a few years ago. "Sorry, I guess."

"Sorry, my ass." Stan retorted as he pulled away, but kept looking down. He took the blanket from Kyle and folded it, then cleared his throat and turned to walk away, but Kyle caught his elbow to stop him. Stan looked at him over his shoulder, his face becoming devoid of any emotion again. "What?"

"What's wrong? I mean, aside from the quarell with that Wendyl person."

Stan froze, staring at Kyle and stubbornly keeping his mouth shut. Seriously, was he that easy to read after all these years?

And what was Kyle's problem, going to him again like he was a moth searching for a flame.

_Okay, that sounded like a goth kid's poem. Fuck._

Kyle didn't seem to budge, even as Stan tried to pull his arm away and knowing him, he would probably try to follow Stan into the cave.

"Sparky died today. I... can't say that I wasn't expecting it because he got too old." Stan mumbled. He felt like a horrible person just by saying this aloud, but Kyle would hopefully leave him alone if he knew what happened. _Hopefully._ "He just- passed away. Just like that. Like-"

Stan stopped himself before breaking down like he did a few hours ago when he found Sparky laying down motionless. He didn't want to come away as weak, so he steeled himself, trying to maintain his neutral expression. He couldn't cry. Not in front of Kyle, not in front of anyone for that matter. He was not some whiny kid. But still, it felt as if his heart sank just by the thought of his lost best friend and companion. And then Kyle had to go and wrap him in a tight hug, saying a barely audible 'sorry' and contributing to Stan's sadness.

"God damn it..." Stan whispered with a sigh and craned his neck to look up to the sky.

"It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay..." Kyle muttered as he rubbed Stan's back in an attempt to soothe him and possibly warm him up, though that last thing couldn't happen.

"You're not helping by talking." Stan remarked, his body slowly slumping as he gave in to the embrace. Kyle replied with another 'sorry', and both of them fell silent for a while. Thankfully, it seemed that Stan's eyes had almost completely dried up, so at least his pride remained unscathed... mostly. He sighed after a minute and added quietly, "I'm not even sure I want to stay here anymore."

"Then you can come with me." Kyle suggested without missing a beat.

"What? Dude! No way!" Stan protested, his hands flying up to Kyle's chest to push him back. "I need to eat, to- to drink _blood_. And when I get hungry I don't have full control over myself!"

Kyle crossed his arms and raised a brow.

"Does it hurt?"

Stan stared at him, absolutely flabbergasted by the turn of the conversation. Though Kyle looked completely serious.

"...What?"

"When you bite someone. Does it hurt?"

"I... I guess? I don't know? Most people scream more because they're scared than because they're in pain." Kyle untangled his arms in favor of motioning to his neck, but Stan shook his head and took a step back. "Oh hell no! I'm not gonna drink from you!"

"Why not? You prefer killing innocent people? It would be much easier if you-"

"Dude, no! Just- no."

"Okay, you know what?" Kyle took his phone out and shoved it in Stan's hands unceremoniously. "It doesn't have a password. Call Kenny if you change your mind."

Stan froze and blinked up at Kyle. What the fuck was he thinking? Was he always that thick-headed? Stan opened his mouth to say something, but Kyle raised a hand to silence him. So he was really serious. And he didn't seem to take 'no' for an answer.

Stan sighed and looked down at the phone after Kyle waved him goodbye and walked away back to the parking lot.

He really had some nerve to offer a home to a vampire, even after being attacked by another one. Or he had definitely gone completely crazy.


	6. Sleepless nights lead to bad decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Wendyl gasped, their eyes widening. They clutched Stan's shoulder and leaned in to whisper, "He wants to blow you?"**

** 13 years ago; Tuesday, 10:00pm **

Stan rolled around in his bed. Even two hours after his mother tucked him in, he couldn't fall asleep. Not after hearing about that vampire. He knew Cartman could be full of shit sometimes- okay, most of the time. But he looked sincere this time. And ever since Stan couldn't stop thinking about what it was like to be a vampire. It was probably cool, being all mysterious and strong, being able to shapeshift and fly. Being... Immortal.

He sighed and stood up, got dressed quickly and opened the window. After giving it a second thought, he took his blankets along, tucking them in his backpack, then climbed out of the window.

He had to find that vampire.

So Stan cautiously climbed down the tree next to the window and made his way around the house and down the empty street towards the playground where Cartman claimed to have seen the vampire. He didn't even think of the possibility that the vampire could hurt him - he was more fixated on the thought of becoming a vampire himself.

"Hello?" Stan called out as soon as he reached the playground. No answer. He called out again, "Uh... I'm looking for a vampire?"

Stan twisted his body to look around. It was quiet. Too quiet actually. Until something rustled behind him, and he turned around, looking up at the mysterious person before him, clad in black clothes that contrasted to their pale skin.

"Are... Are you a vampire?" Stan asked quietly, his eyes glinting with curiosity as he examined the stranger's features.

"Pretty bold of you to come here just to see me, kid." The strangers said. Their voice was raspy, but there was also a smoothness to it, like a mother's lullaby. "Aren't you afraid?"

Stan shook his head and watched as the stranger bent down with their hands on their knees. Their brown eyes seemed to be glowing, but Stan still didn't feel scared. On the contrary, he thought it looked cool. Especially when the vampire grinned, their long fangs poking out and over their bottom lip.

"Are you still so fearless?" The stranger asked again as they looked Stan up and down for any sign of nervousness.

But Stan stood still, with his back straightened confidently. His face also didn't seem to give away any emotion.

"Actually I think you look pretty awesome." Stan pointed out. "So can I become like you?"

The vampire stared at him for another few moments before breaking in a fit of giggles.

"So you're fearless _and_ funny!" They shook their head and wiped the happy tears from their eyes, but upon seeing that Stan was serious, they stopped laughing. "Are you really sure? You understand that you won't be able to go out in daylight without protection and you'll have to drink blood from other people, right?"

"But I'll have better eyesight, hearing and strength, right? And I'll be able to fly and be immortal." Stan stated more than asked and slipped his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

The vampire huffed out a chuckle and extended a hand to Stan.

"Very well then. I'm Wendyl by the way. Nice to meet you..."

"Stan."

"Stan. Sounds good. Then I could use your company, Stan." Wendyl grinned again and after Stan shook their hand, they retreated it and bit their wrist. They didn't hesitate even for a second as they brought their hand in front of Stan's face. "Drink."

"Uh... Why?" Stan furrowed his brows in confusion and flicked his gaze between Wendyl's blood-covered wrist and their face.

"Because you become a vampire that way. If you're really sure, you better hurry up before the wound heals."

"That's... bothersome." Stan muttered, but swiped his finger across Wendyl's wrist, then gave it an experimental lick. "Hey, that's not so bad."

Wendyl just smiled in response and waited for Stan to finish off the rest of the blood until the small wounds closed up.

"Um... I don't feel different." Stan said after a while and looked down to his hands.

"You'll transform after a few minutes. Until then, let's find your first vic- _food source_." Wendyl finished with yet another smile and stood up, placing their hand on Stan's back and ushering him forward and away from the playground.

And Stan just nodded dumbly and followed them.

** Present; Monday, 1:00am **

Stan sat by the entrance of the cave and explored the applications in Kyle's phone. He looked through the gallery quickly before doing anything else, then went back to the homescreen where the wallpaper was a picture of Kyle and Kenny caught mid-laughing, along with a raised middle finger(Stan figured it was Cartman's) in front of the camera. The homescreen was full of neatly arranged applications, color-coded so that it would be more aesthetically pleasing. There were various games, news apps, but one app in particular caught Stan's attention. Grindr. Stan quirked a brow in confusion and opened it, but immediately regretted it and closed it, tucking the phone in his pocket as fast as possible. He groaned to himself and covered his face with his hands. At least he was able to refrain himself from thinking about Sparky, but that was... too embarrassing. Even more so when he reminded himself of the way he referred to Kyle when defending him from Wendyl.

"Hey there! I'm back."

Speak of the devil...

Stan snapped his head up to look at Wendyl who was now standing in front of him. But Stan was too distracted with seeing all these photos to notice them.

"Thinking about Kyle again, I see." Wendyl pointed out, a playful smile playing on their lips as they sat down next to Stan and ruffled his hair. They got a quiet grunt in response, indicating that Stan wanted to be left alone, but Wendyl never cared about his personal space, so they wrapped an arm around his shoulders and leaned their head on his arm(one of the privileges of Stan growing up to be taller than Wendyl - they had a free "pillow" to lean on). Wendyl released a soft sigh and looked up to the sky with a dreamy smile. "I remember back when I turned you into a vampire and you didn't stop talking about him, Kenny and Cartman... Well, it was mostly about Kyle."

"That's because we were best friends. _Super_ best friends." Stan muttered and gave a quick glance to Wendyl, rolled his eyes, then looked up to the sky too.

"But he's a hell of a hot piece now." Wendyl noted, their lips stretching into a grin. "At least from what I saw of him live and on those photos."

Fuck. So they were standing there the whole time Stan was dying of embarassment and he didn't even hear them?

Stan cleared his throat and averted his gaze.

"I mean, yeah. Sure. He's uh, okay I guess."

"Just 'okay'? Is that all you're gonna say? Damn, Stanny. I thought I raised you better." Wendyl finished with a sigh and looked at Stan, raising their eyebrows.

"Ugh- okay. He looks... decently good." Stan corrected himself with a frustrated huff and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Why does that even matter?"

Wendyl laughed and detached themself from Stan. They turned around to face him and booped his nose as they spoke.

"Because, Stanny, we're immortals. And immortals have to have fun with something or someone in order to not get bored of their never-ending lives. And now that you found Kyle- or more like he found you, you can just make the most of it and probably enjoy his company. Of course, I'm not saying that it has to be him, it can be someone else. But he just seems closest to you."

"Wendyl, please." Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed exasperatedly. "I'm not like you. And I sure as hell won't take advantage of Kyle."

Wendyl hummed in thought and squinted as they inspected Stan's face.

"Then maybe I'm gonna take advantage of him before you do. I followed you to that apartment, I know where he lives." Wendyl grinned again and shifted to stand up. "Maybe I'll go and pay him a visit?"

Stan snapped immediately, his brows knitting, eyes narrowing and teeth baring as he caught Wendyl's wrist to stop them from going anywhere.

"I told you he's mi-" He stopped himself, his eyes widening in shock, then narrowing again as he averted his gaze. "-my best friend. I don't want you to hurt him. That's why I lashed out to you like that earlier."

"I know. Sorry about that by the way. But damn, even his blood smelled amazing. Like, can this person become any more perfect?" Wendyl noted with a chuckle. Stan glared at them, so they patted his forearm and went back to their previous place next to him. "I don't know how you restrain yourself, but I really couldn't resist it."

"Anyway," Stan started and cleared his throat. "Actually he, uh, suggested something to me earlier... After you left."

Wendyl gasped, their eyes widening. They clutched Stan's shoulder and leaned in to whisper, "He wants to blow you?"

"Wh- No! Jesus-"

Wendyl burst out laughing so hard that they tumbled back on the ground, rolling around as they clutched their stomach. Stan deadpanned again, face-palming and shaking his head. For someone so wise and mature, Wendyl could be really childish sometimes. And they were more than a hundred years old.

"Are you done yet?" Stan asked after a good two minutes of Wendyl rolling around and laughing their ass off, until finally they laid on their back, their chest heaving as they regained their breath. "Seriously... You're only thinking about food and sex."

"Whaaat?" Wendyl lifted their head to look at Stan. "I have other interests too! Did you forget that I became an environmental activist? Now, I'm not saying that I'm not more interested in sex. You know, for the most part of my life I learned a lot of things about it-"

"I really don't wanna hear about it." Stan muttered, rubbing his temples with one hand. He was listening to Wendyl's lectures for almost ten years now and he was sure that if he was to ever fall asleep, he would have the weirdest, most embarrassing dreams ever.

"Sorry, sorry." Wendyl calmed down and flopped their head back down to the ground. "Now tell me, what did Kyle suggest? I promise I won't disrupt you this time."

Stan raised a sceptic brow at Wendyl. They looked serious enough, so he nodded.

"He wants me to live with him, Kenny and Cartman."

"Do you want to go?"

"Well I'm considering it..." Surprisingly, Wendyl fell silent. Stan furrowed his brows in confusion. "...What?"

Wendyl sat up and cast their gaze down. They didn't say anything for a while, until finally, they looked up, sniffing as they wrapped Stan in a tight hug.

"My little Stanny grew up and now wants to move out!" Wendyl *pretended to* wail and pulled back after a second, their hands moving to rest on Stan's cheeks and squish them. "Will you still visit me from time to time? You won't forget me, right?"

Stan blinked down at them, then rolled his eyes.

"No need to be so overdramatic, but yeah. Sure."

Wendyl gave Stan a wide smile and retreated their hands.

"Now could you massage my back? I think I moved too sharply or something when I was with Bebe..."

Now Stan fell silent as he stared at Wendel with his eyebrows raised and his lips pressed in a tight line. Though he quickly gave in and huffed out a laugh.

"Sure. I owe you at least this."


	7. Too embarrassing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **“Dude, that’s literally what friends are for and you can’t prove me otherwise.”**

** Monday, 7:50am **

Kenny hummed to himself as he and Kyle made their way to Harbucks. They could just take Kyle's car to go there faster, but Kenny insisted they take a walk because apparently 'the weather outside is perfect, the birds are chirping, the sun is shining'... In short, he was totally lovestruck for Butters. Now that Kyle thought about it, Kenny was acting that way every time he got laid. But that didn't mean he couldn't still ask Kenny about it.

"So what happened last night?" Kyle asked after he heard most of the repertoire of Kenny's songs that he liked to hum occasionally.

"I'm glad you asked-" Kenny started, and Kyle immediately cursed himself for asking. He felt an obscene sex scene description coming his way, but Kenny noticed his displeasure and laughed. "We didn't do anything more than watching movies."

"What? Seriously?" Kyle raised his eyebrows in surprise and looked at Kenny. "Didn't you at least make out during the movies?"

"Lion King isn't exactly a movie to make out to. And after that Leo suggested to sleep on the couch, so he could leave the huge-ass bed for me." Kenny looked back at Kyle and snorted upon seeing his expression. "Dude, you look like you just saw a ghost."

"I uh... Huh." Kyle huffed out a chuckle. Then he returned his attention to the road in front of them. "It's just surprising. Because you're that type of person who manages to seduce everyone on their first date. Damn, I didn't expect to say it to you, but... I think you're finally settling down."

"Well, yeah. I had a little over five years to have fun. But I wanna try and have a serious relationship. It's just... there's this feeling- you know the one, when you see a couple being all cuddly and holding hands and being sweet as fuck. And you want to have that sweetness happen to you so your teeth can rot because of it. Also I want a partner who I can show around and probably get them to come with me for the high school reunion and just say 'hey, that wonderful person here's mine!', you know." Kenny finished with a happy sigh and looked over at Kyle again. "And I just have a feeling that things with Leo will work out."

Kyle looked back at him with a half-smile before shaking his head.

"All I know is you fall in love easily. But from what I saw of that guy, he seems like a good person, so I guess there isn't a problem."

"Oh, look who's talking. The 'I think I like two people at once'-guy. Or the 'I might or might not have a crush on my super best friend'." Kenny reminded with a grin.

"I... That's... I was just confused then!" Kyle retorted.

"Mmhm, yep, sure." Kenny wiggled his eyebrows to Kyle and laughed when Kyle pushed him aside. "But seriously, even if you were confused about Stan, I know- _everyone knows_ that you two were always too close for comfort until he disappeared. Remember that last day when we were playing something and you chanted 'Go Stan! Stan! Stan!'? Because I remember the day of my fifth loss in a row against him very clearly."

"We weren't-" Kyle stopped himself from finishing the sentence and sighed instead. "...Was I that obvious?"

"Dude, you were screaming 'I love you' without actually saying it."

"Well, shit."

Kyle fell silent and cast his gaze down as he and Kenny proceeded to walk. Thankfully Kenny kept quiet the rest of the way. Well, until they reached the coffee shop.

"Oh and about that thing with Stan coming home with us... You should talk with Cartman too. Though I'm sure he'll accept the news well. After all, he's writing about vampires now. But..." Kenny stopped before opening the door to the coffee shop and lowered his voice to a whisper. "We should probably get some blood from somewhere. But if you wanna be that one protagonist who just goes and gives their blood to the handsome vampire, it's your choice."

"For how long are you gonna nag me about that? I just didn't know what else to say!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say."

** Monday, 6:00pm **

"Finally!" Kenny exclaimed as soon as he saw the clock on the wall showing that it was the end of the work day. Though Kyle was way less enthusiastic and he just walked over to one of the tables to sit on a chair and prop his legs up on another one. Kenny rolled his eyes and motioned to Kyle to stand up. "We have to clean up, so let's get it over with and go home already."

"I... hate Mondays." Kyle muttered and tilted his head back to rest it on the window behind him with a groan. "Just let me rest for a minute."

Just as he said that, the door opened and a person covered in all black and sporting black sunglasses walked in like they owned the place.

"We're closed." Kyle said with a bored sigh and looked over the person... who turned out to be Wendyl, so Kyle shot up as fast as possible and searched for the silver around his wrist. Of course, he had to take it off when he showered last night. Just great.

"Uh... I think you missed out on telling me something. Do you know them?" Kenny asked, furrowing his brows in confusion at Kyle's strange reaction.

"Good evening." Wendyl greeted, the words coming out way too slow and just like the previous night, it sent shivers down Kyle's spine. "I just came to see Stanny's potential roommates. Well, of course, I know you, Kyle, but I haven't met Kenny personally yet."

Kenny blinked rapidly, trying to process what was happening while Kyle took a step forward and opened his mouth to say something, but then another person dashed in, panting and trying to catch their breath. This time it was Stan, thankfully.

"I told you something... about not going anywhere near my-" Stan started, then paused to take a deep breath. He placed a hand on Wendyl's shoulder and opened his mouth to finish what he was saying, but stopped upon seeing that Kenny was there too.

"But, Stanny-" Wendyl whined. Stan cringed at the nickname and looked around to see Kyle’s and Kenny's reactions. They seemed confused more than anything, so Stan sighed in relief while Wendyl continued, "I just wanted to pay them a visit!"

"Yeah, sure. And I told you we don't need introductions, so I suggest you go now." Stan whispered, frowning and catching Wendyl's shoulders to turn them around and usher them out. Though they took one step, then stopped in front of the door and looked at Stan over their shoulder.

"Won't you at least give me a hug for goodbye? That's really harsh, Stanny. Especially for you."

"No, and stop calling me that!" Stan growled, then gritted through his teeth quietly, "You're embarrassing me."

"Sorry, sorry. I'll go now." Wendyl raised their hands in defeat and chuckled. They opened the door, but still didn't hold back from patting Stan's cheek before going out.

Stan sighed exasperatedly and pressed his back on the door after it closed. He looked up to scowl at Kenny and Kyle who were now barely holding back their smiles. Even Kyle's fear of Wendyl dissipated after he saw that exchange between them and Stan.

"Who was that?" Kenny asked, his voice wavering with the effort of holding his laughter back.

"Just a friend." Stan replied and crossed his arms. "Anyway, are you finished here?

Kyle nodded quickly and took off to the backroom to get changed while Kenny leaned his elbows on the counter and grinned at Stan.

"Well, they didn't look like 'just a friend'. More like a sibling. Or... maybe something completely different? I don’t know what it is, but you seem really close."

Stan just shook his head and waited for Kyle and Kenny to finish up with changing and cleaning around the shop. He kept quiet even as they made their way out and down the street.

"So, uh..." Kyle started in an attempt to break the awkward silence. "What did you decide?"

"I thought about it... And I'll come. As long as you guys don't want to tie me up again." Stan finished with a shrug.

Kyle nodded and looked over to Kenny. He was already looking at Kyle with a big mischievous smile, so as if reading his mind, Kyle dismissed him by mouthing 'fuck you'.

"Oh, before I forget..." Stan took the phone out of his pocket and returned it to Kyle. "Some dude sent you a message last night. Looks like a pompous douchebag to me, but..."

Kenny snorted, but another glare from Kyle later, he raised his hands in defeat. Kyle took his phone to read the message, but immediately after that closed the app and brought his free hand up and over his face.

"Pompous douchebag indeed." Was all he muttered before putting his phone away in his pocket with an irritated sigh.

"Do you know him?" Stan asked, quietly this time.

"Yeah, but that doesn't really matte-"

"Is it that annoying bastard that you blocked from all social media?" Kenny joined in, and when Kyle nodded reluctantly, he cracked his knuckles, then extended a hand to Kyle. "Give me the phone."

"No!" Kyle protested and stepped to the side to get further away from Kenny. "I'll be fine. Really."

“Uh… What happened?” Stan asked again, his eyebrows knitting in confusion as he moved his gaze between Kyle and Kenny. They were rather pissed off, to say the least. But something seemed off with Kyle. Stan remembered him as that explosive kid that lived up to the stereotypes about red-haired people, but now he was more laid-back and kept things more to himself. Or was he like that only around Stan because they haven’t seen each other for over ten years? Okay, no. He was overthinking it thanks to Wendyl talking about Kyle nonstop and teasing Stan.

“Just some guy that became obsessed with Kyle after they went out on one date.” Kenny explained before Kyle could get a chance to say anything, “But even though Kyle rejected him, he still tries to message him. So of course, I told him off not once, but twice, but he’s still too obtrusive.”

“Dude! You know what,” Kyle shouted in protest, then looked away and quickened his pace. “I’m going first, I won’t wait for you.”

Stan shot a questioning look to Kenny and motioned to Kyle who stormed off and away from them.

“He’s just tired.” Kenny dismissed and hurried after Kyle.

Stan just shrugged and followed them quickly. He could catch up with Kyle, sure. But he looked angry, so he didn’t want to bother him. At least not now.

After going home, Kyle fled in his room after saying a quick order of ‘wait here for a bit’ to Stan while Kenny and Cartman grabbed themselves something for dinner. That meant that Stan just had to stand next to the couch awkwardly while waiting for Kyle, and that’s exactly what he did. Thankfully, Kyle came back quickly and gestured to Stan to follow him in the room before Cartman could start asking questions concerning vampires. Stan went in Kyle’s room and immediately stopped in his tracks upon seeing the wall. So Cartman wasn’t lying about it.

“Try not to look at it if it creeps you out.” Kyle mumbled, answering Stan's unspoken question as he closed the door, then went over to the sleeping bag on the floor, but just when he was about to lay down, Stan caught his elbow. Kyle turned to him and quirked a brow. “What?”

Stan nodded to the bed instead of saying something. Kyle’s face contorted with surprise, then confusion.

“What do you-”

“You take the bed. I don’t sleep, so it would be more useful for you.”

“Oh. Right.” Kyle forced out a nervous laugh and sat on the bed. Thanks to Kenny and his own long lost innocence to make him think strange things. “Uh… So… What do you do if you don’t sleep? Oh, and could you turn off the light?”

“Nothing much.” Stan replied as he did what he was instructed to before going back and sitting down on the sleeping bag. He cursed himself mentally for answering so coldly again, so he took a deep breath and proceeded softly this time, “Do you wanna tell me about that guy?”

Kyle hummed in thought as he searched for a good answer. In the meantime, he took off the shirt he was wearing, and Stan couldn’t help, but stare. Again, thanks to Wendyl’s words(though Stan didn’t want to admit that they were absolutely right about Kyle's body). Thankfully Kyle was looking down, so he didn’t notice anything.

“He just… I don’t know. It was nothing more than a one-night stand, but…” Kyle started, then paused, shook his head and laid down, pulling the blanket over himself. “Jesus, that’s embarrassing to talk about…”

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it. I understand you.” Stan followed his example and also laid down on his side, with his head propped on his hand. “I just wanted to, uh… let you know that I can help if you need it.”

“Thanks, dude.” Kyle said after a few seconds, the corners of his lips quirking up in a small smile. “But seriously, I’ll be fine. He’ll grow tired soon. Also, you’ve already helped me with that other vampire, so it’ll be too much if you help me with this too.”

“Dude, that’s literally what friends are for and you can’t prove me otherwise.” Stan retorted.

“Dude…” Kyle repeated and leaned on his elbow, extending his free hand to Stan. “Come here.”

Stan blinked up at him, but did what he was told and sat up. Though he didn’t move any further, so Kyle reached out to him without standing up and wrapped his arms around him. Stan raised his hand to rest it on Kyle's head, but as soon as he touched his hair, he lowered his hands to Kyle's back. Which was a bad idea after all because it seemed that everything about Kyle was too damn soft, even though he could still feel some of the firm back muscles.

_First his blood, now his skin…_

_Fuuuuck-_

Even though Stan was dying internally, he tried to maintain a neutral expression. The only thing that gave him away was his hands which barely moved up, and of course, the shaky sigh that escaped him. Fucking Wendyl again, filling his head with inappropriate thoughts about his best friend. Though more than that, the familiar scent of blood, of Kyle’s blood in particular, made his mouth water. And his cologne-

"Stan?" Kyle muttered after a while, accompanied by a soft quiet chuckle. "You can let go now because I can't get up."

"Sorry, I just..." Stan trailed off. He was too dizzy to think straight. "I, uh..."

"You're hungry?" Kyle asked and pulled back carefully when Stan nodded. He got off the bed and sat down on the ground after taking a deep breath.

Stan shifted uncomfortably and flicked his gaze between Kyle's neck and his face.

"Are you-"

"Just do it if you need it."

Stan nodded and leaned in, his hand coming up to Kyle's jaw to tilt his head to the side before he sank his teeth in the place between Kyle's neck and shoulder.

Kyle sucked in a deep breath, then released it slowly as his eyes squeezed shut. The pain wasn't that bad as he expected it to be. It was actually weirdly pleasurable more than anything. Even if he felt like he was about to faint when Stan pulled back slightly and trailed his tongue over the bite marks.

Stan's head has cleared up a bit, so he remembered what Wendyl had told him about licking the wound so that it would close up, but he hasn't done it before, so he moved back to see the result. Sure enough, the wounds disappeared, and Stan scooted farther away from Kyle.

"Are you okay?"

Kyle nodded and opened his eyes. Everything seemed to move too slow as he stood up to get back on the bed and lay down.

"I feel like I'm drunk."

"Uh... Do you need anything? Water? Something? And you haven't eaten..."

Kyle blinked up at Stan, his lids growing heavier by the second.

"I ate at work around an hour ago, so... all I need now is sleep."

Stan simply nodded as he watched his friend fall asleep in a matter of seconds. He sighed and pulled the blanket to tuck him in before looking over to the door. He heard Cartman and Kenny whispering something, so they were probably eavesdropping. And Stan didn't want to bother with answering the questions that they would surely bombard him with if he was to go out of the room and join them, so instead he busied himself with taking a seat in front of Kyle's desk and inspecting the wall 'dedicated to Stan' as Cartman referred to it.

After all he had plenty of time to waste until Kyle wakes up.


	8. How to fight your way through a Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"Hey, look! A tooth!"**
> 
> **"Jesus- Don't be so smug about it!"**

** Tuesday, 6:30am **

At the sound of Kyle's alarm ringing, Stan shot up from his seat on the desk and dropped all the papers he had been going through until now. He didn't even know why he was so startled in the first place. He didn't do anything wrong - he was just looking over newspaper articles about him and photos of him with his friends from when they were kids(Kyle even had a whole album with them with the first photo in it being of him and Stan sitting on the couch in Stan's house).

Kyle woke up, groaning as he turned off the alarm. Stan looked at him over his shoulder as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up.

"Good morning." Stan muttered, unable to stop the smile that creeped on his face when he saw the bedhead that Kyle was sporting. It wasn't that surprising, given that he didn't stop rolling around in his sleep.

Kyle just hummed and nodded in response. He stood up slowly, took his clothes and made his way to the window with the intention to open the blinds, but stopped in his tracks upon remembering that Stan was a vampire now. So instead of doing that, he turned on his heel and walked over to the door.

"Um... Do you mind that I looked over the things on the wall and your desk? I just wanted to know what happened after I... you know."

"Hm?" Kyle stopped in his tracks and looked up at Stan, raising his eyebrows. It took him a moment to register Stan's words, and when he did, he shook his head. "It's fine. I'm just surprised that you weren't creeped out by this. I probably look like a stalker because of all these stuff about you."

"Dude, of course I'm not creeped out." Stan quirked a brow in confusion, then huffed out a chuckle. "I would have done the same if it was you that went missing. -Or Kenny or Cartman." He hurriedly added upon seeing Kyle's surprise.

"Sure. Thanks, dude." Kyle replied with a small smile and turned to open the door. "I'll close the blinds now so you can come out."

Kyle stepped out of the room, leaving the door open and went to do what he said in the living room and the kitchen. Stan waited for him, then joined him in the kitchen. Though he stopped in his tracks upon seeing that Cartman was making coffee. It was weird that he was actually helping with something. Stan didn't expect that of him, but of course, people change.

"Good morning, Jew. Stan." Cartman greeted without even turning to acknowledge Kyle and Stan.

Okay, so maybe he hasn't changed that much.

"Morning, fatass." Kyle replied and turned to exit the kitchen, patting Stan's shoulder on his way. "I'm going to the bathroom, so take a seat and ignore Cartman if he tries to piss you off."

Stan nodded and sat on one of the chairs around the table while Cartman shouted 'fuck off, Kahl!', then looked at Stan over his shoulder.

"Do you drink coffee?" Stan nodded again, so Cartman took four cups out of the cupboard over the sink and started pouring the coffee in them before taking his place across from Stan, taking two of the cups and placing one in front of Stan. "So... What did you and Kahl do last night?"

"Um, nothing much. He actually let me drink some of his blood." Stan muttered the last part. He didn't know why he was telling this to Cartman of all people. But after all, he and Kenny accepted him in their home, so why not?

"Oh." Cartman's eyes glinted with curiosity and he pulled his phone out, opening the Notes app. "How did it taste and feel?"

"Uh..." Stan looked down to his cup, then back up at Cartman. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm writing something about vampires, so I need to know everything about it. I don't wanna look like an incompetent fool that doesn't know shit about vampires after all."

Stan sighed and propped an elbow on the table. Cartman looked at him expectantly, his thumbs hovering over the keyboard of his phone, ready to write down everything Stan says.

"Well, the taste of it was... iron. But Kyle's blood in particular was somehow sweet... like honey or something. I can't exactly describe it. And uh, it's warm of course."

"Hm... Something like the feeling when you drink strong alcohol and you feel it warming your throat and esophagus?" Cartman guessed after typing down Stan's words. Stan nodded, so Cartman wrote that too. "Kewl. Then... how does the receiver feel? Does it normally hurt that much as it hurt when you bit me?"

"Uh, how should I know?"

"Oh. Right. Then I'll ask Kahl later." Cartman paused to take a sip from his coffee before proceeding. "So... why are you so pale?"

"It's hard to explain, so... think of it as similar to a snake's blood circulation." Stan finished with a shrug and took a sip of his coffee.

"That's an interesting way to put it." Cartman wrote that down too, then looked up again and opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped upon seeing Kyle who joined them, took his cup of coffee and sat down between Cartman and Stan, now fully clothed and smelling of something like essential oils mixed with alcohol. He sure was fast. Though something made Cartman scrunch up his nose. "Jesus, Kahl- When will you stop using that aftershave?"

"If it annoys you that much - never." Kyle grinned and leaned back in his chair, bringing his cup to his lips.

"It's too damn strong." Cartman remarked grumpily and left his phone on the table.

"I think it's amazing actually. I don't know why you think it's that bad." Stan muttered, causing both Kyle and Cartman to nearly spit their coffee out. Stan flicked his gaze between the two, furrowing his brows in confusion. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

Cartman's surprised expression contorted in amusement, his lips stretching in a wide, almost evil-looking grin. He took a deep breath, but Kyle was quick to cover his mouth with his hand.

"Don't even think about it!" Kyle warned, but Cartman caught his wrist and pushed his hand away.

"STAN AND KAHL SITTING ON A TREE-"

Now Kyle brought his free hand to Cartman's face to grip his cheeks, followed by Cartman's hand shooting up to his face to push him away.

Stan sighed and stood up to join Cartman in pushing Kyle away, then moved to sit on the now free chair between them. Kyle huffed in frustration and sat down next to Stan, crossing his arms.

"You stay there!" Stan warned, pointing an accusing finger to Kyle, then looked at Cartman to point his finger at him. "And you shut up or I'll bite you again!"

Kyle averted his gaze while Cartman just laughed in response. Stan sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose. Thankfully Kenny arrived after a second, greeting everyone with a cheerful 'good morning' before taking his seat.

"Damn, did you guys fight again?" Kenny asked after seeing Cartman's grin, and Kyle and Stan's irritated expressions.

"Cartman started it. Again." Kyle muttered, earning a chuckle from Kenny.

"Okay, kiddo. Don't cry and tell daddy what happened."

"Dude, that sounds seriously fucked up." Kyle pointed out, the corner of his upper lip curling in disgust. Stan nodded in agreement, even Cartman did, though he still laughed along with Kenny.

"I don't even know why I agreed to live with you guys..." Stan shook his head and gulped down his remaining coffee.

He didn't want to admit it, but he actually liked that his friends remained the same way, even after thirteen years.

** Tuesday, 5:50pm **

Stan spent the day in Kyle's room while waiting for Kyle and Kenny to come back. It was peaceful for the most part except the fact that Cartman occasionally bothered him with questions about vampires.

Stan looked over at the clock on the nightstand, then to the window. The sun has already set, so he decided to go to Harbucks again and wait for Kyle and Kenny there. And he had already looked through everything in Kyle's room just out of curiosity and boredom, so he didn't really have anything else to do.

He stood up from the bed where he was sitting until now, and walked out of the room and the apartment. After exiting the building, he focused on making his way to Harbucks through the darker and smaller streets so he could get there faster without being seen by other people. Though when he arrived behind the coffee shop, he stopped in his tracks and peeked around the corner. Kyle was there, talking with some guy(Stan recognized him as the one who messaged Kyle yesterday), looking and sounding thoroughly annoyed. Stan took a step back so as to not be seen by them and listened to their conversation.

"-I told you a thousand times and in a thousand ways to stop trying to contact me! Even my friend had to go through the trouble to-"

"But I thought-"

"For fuck's sake, shut up when I'm speaking! I'm not finished!"

Stan took a peek of them again. The guy crossed his arms in front of his chest while Kyle took a step back and lowered his voice.

"Whatever happened was one time and there's a reason for me not wanting to do it again. All I want from you is to stop coming here, stop calling me and stop messaging me. Just find someone else and move on! It's not that hard."

The guy looked taken aback by that and he fell silent for a few seconds before muttering, "Was I not good enough?"

Kyle frowned at him, clenching his jaw as he thought over his answer.

"Yes. You weren't."

"Then let me prove that I can do better!" The guy protested and untangled his arms in favor of catching Kyle's shoulders and leaning forward. "And don't deny that you didn't prepare like that for me. You smell really nice... You expected me to come, didn't you?"

Stan frowned and clenched his fists, much like Kyle did, but didn't make a move for now. Kyle didn't really seem to want to fight, so he inhaled and exhaled through his nose, his eyes narrowing at the guy.

"Let me go if you want to go home unscathed." Kyle warned, but contrary to his and Stan's expectations, the guy laughed and moved even closer.

"You won't dare to do anything."

Stan took a step forward upon seeing that Kyle became eerily calm and didn't show any signs of moving away whatsoever. That was, until his fist flew up to the guy's stomach, causing the guy to groan and double over from the pain.

"Take a second guess." Kyle muttered and turned on his heel to walk away, but the guy reached out to grasp his shoulder again.

Stan decided, fuck it, and approached them in a second. Up close the guy turned out to be taller than Stan, hell, even taller than Kyle and obviously more muscular than Stan and Kyle together, but Stan still didn't hesitate to tap his shoulder.

"Hey, look over here." Both Kyle and the guy turned to look at Stan, and when they did, it was Stan's turn to deliver a punch right in the guy's face. Though this time instead of just doubling over the guy outright fainted and fell on the ground. Stan watched him go down, then lifted his gaze to meet Kyle's unbelieving eyes. "...Oops."

Kyle blinked at him with his mouth agape. He looked down at the guy, then back up at Stan.

"Dude! What the- What did you- Wh- Where did you even come from?! I was gonna handle him!" Kyle protested, gesturing with his hands to Stan and the guy. "You literally punched the lights out of him! What the fuck?!"

"Uh... Sorry? He touched you without permission." Stan defended and looked down at the unconscious guy, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise as he pointed to something white next to the wall of the coffee shop, then looked at Kyle with a proud grin. "Hey, look! A tooth!"

"Jesus- Don't be so smug about it!" Kyle scolded, then took a step back and leaned on the wall, groaning in frustration. "He's gonna sue my ass! Do you realize that?"

"But it was self-defense! And you have enough evidence to prove that he was harassing you." Stan retorted and walked around the guy and over to Kyle to get a better look at him. He lowered his voice almost to a whisper as he asked, "Are you okay?"

Kyle didn't answer. Instead he glared at Stan, exhaling sharply through his nose like an angry bull. He shook his head and caught Stan's wrist to lead him to the front door and in the coffee shop, dodging the customers, then taking a turn to walk behind the counter and around Kenny and finally stopping upon reaching the backroom. He released Stan there and let him sit on a chair next to the lockers.

"Stay here until we finish up. And no 'but's!" Kyle warned and turned his back to Stan.

Stan just nodded dumbly and raised his hands in defeat. He watched as Kyle walked out and closed the door. He heard Kenny asking about what happened, but Kyle just huffed in response and walked away, probably going to continue with his work.


	9. It's a matter of pride, dignity and one's ego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"Dude, are you-"**
> 
> **"I- I swear it's random."**

** Tuesday, 6:05pm **

Kyle couldn't hold in the groan when Kenny climbed in the backseat of his car, saying that Stan deserved the passenger seat for saving Kyle again. Of course, it didn't make sense, but it was obvious that he was trying to be Kyle's wingman. Which was ridiculous because 1) Kyle never asked for it and 2) Kenny wasn't that good at it.

Needless to say, the ride home was extremely awkward because of Stan constantly trying to apologize to Kyle for butting in, Kyle not giving any response while his frown grew deeper and deeper, and Kenny making remarks that Kyle and Stan had to go to a marriage counselor for their problems. Stan had shot him numerous glares and threatened to hypnotize him or even drain his blood, so that successfully made Kenny shut up... for exactly ten seconds.

The dinner was even worse. Cartman joined in with Kenny in what seemed to be a yet another attempt to get under Kyle's skin by occasionally offering him chocolate or tampons, and of course, his tradition of asking him if he had sand in his vagina. Kyle tried his best in ignoring everyone, even more so when Stan defended him for the millionth time by standing up to Cartman.

In short, it was just great. A perfectly normal dinner with friends that ended up with Kyle hurrying to eat his food, then storm off to the safety of his room and its window for a cigarette from the pack that was kept hidden under his bed for almost a week. Though it didn't help much because just when he reached the half of it, Stan just materialized out of nowhere next to him, covered with nothing but a towel around his waist. Kyle almost had a heart attack when he saw him, nearly dropped his cigarette and coughed from taking a too long drag. Stan even carried the scent of Kyle's aftershave which contributed even more to Kyle's rapid heartbeat.

"Jesus- Can't you at least knock or stomp on your way here to let me know that you're coming?" Kyle exclaimed and took a step back from the unsuspecting vampire. "And why are you- You'll freeze your ass off!"

"I won't freeze." Stan finally said after a few seconds of deciding on what to answer to first. "Can I use some of your clothes?"

"Sure, yeah." Kyle replied without skipping a beat, gesturing to the wardrobe. "Just take what you need, but don't touch my shirts."

Stan nodded and walked over to the wardrobe, this time without using the super speed or whatever it was. Kyle sneaked a look at him just when he bent over to search through the clothes, pushing his hair back and away from his eyes. The action in itself was pretty simple and normal, but hell, did Kyle want to be an innocent 8-year-old that didn't swoon over hot guys. He didn't even know why he felt that way towards his best friend who was thought to be dead until the other day. But of course it had to be Stan, the boy that Kyle had his first crush on, and the boy that has grown up to be this ~~fucking ripped, holy fuck~~ handsome, but oblivious man that didn't bother turning around to get dressed. But then again, he didn't notice Kyle staring, so maybe that was the reason.

Thankfully, Kyle caught himself in the act and averted his gaze forward and out to the buildings across the street, his free hand shooting up to entangle his fingers in his hair, gripping at it for dear life to try and snap out of the daze.

"Your cigarette's gonna burn out." Stan pointed out. He was standing next to Kyle yet again, now fully clothed with a t-shirt and sweatpants, but his hair was still wet. And slicked back... And Kyle really had to stop with the staring. "Can I try it out?"

"What- What? ...What?" Kyle repeated, blinking rapidly, then clearing his throat and giving a quick glance to his cigarette. "Have you, uh, tried it before?"

"Once." Stan admitted and Kyle nodded approvingly, opening his palm so Stan could take the cigarette. But instead of doing that, Stan just leaned in, placing a hand over Kyle's to bring it closer and press his lips on his fingers as he took a drag like it wasn't such a big deal that he was doing it this way. When he pulled back, Kyle looked like he would malfunction completely. He stood motionless, barely even breathing, lips parted slightly to say something, but only muttering an 'uhhh' and eyes wide open. Stan breathed out a chuckle, but as he realized what he just did, his smile faded and he pulled back. "Sorry about that."

Another 'uh' later, Kyle replied with a nervous laugh and finished his cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray on the windowsill. He closed the window afterwards and turned to walk over his bed, taking his clothes off, throwing them on the chair, then plopping down on the bed and pulling the blanket over his body and head. He could even put Stan's speed to shame.

"Dude... Are you okay?" Stan asked, still not catching on what caused that dramatic mood change. He approached the bed, carefully sitting on the edge of it and placing a tender hand on Kyle's back which was currently turned to him. Kyle even tried to snore to come away as sleeping, but Stan rolled his eyes. "Nice try, but you don't snore. And I can hear your heartbeat."

"I'm still trying to be angry at you." Kyle muttered and threw the blanket off of his head with a frustrated huff. "I mean- I _am_ angry at you."

Stan sighed exasperatedly and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sor-"

"Don't say it." Kyle cut him off and turned to sit up. "It doesn't change the fact that you stepped in when you didn't have to. Honestly, I was gonna be fine. Don't get me wrong - I'm still thankful, but that was a human, not a vampire."

"So what? He was a threat for you." Stan stated as a matter of fact and placed his hand over Kyle's legs and next to them on the bed to be able to face Kyle. He sighed again. "But that's not what bothers you, is it?"

Kyle bit his lip and looked away. He hated the way Stan looked at him as if he reading his mind, his soul even. It didn't help that he was still seeing that image of Stan naked over and over again. Kyle was just trying to be angry, not aroused, for fuck's sake.

"It's just-" Kyle huffed and brought his knee to his chest to hide the uncomfortable boner that still hasn't went away. He focused on his frustration instead, and how to voice it out to Stan. "I hate it when I come away as weak. Like- some damn damsel in distress. Like I can't fend for myself. Like, can I at least keep my dignity?"

"I... didn't know..." Stan started. He paused to gather his thoughts and ran his free hand through his hair. "I'm s- I mean... I just wanted to protect you, that's all. Wendyl raised me this way, to protect the people I lo- _care about_. I didn't know it would hurt your pride."

Kyle sighed and looked up at Stan, thinking over what to say or do. At the end he just decided to offer a hand to Stan as a sign of peace. Though as soon as Stan took his hand, he pulled him in and wrapped his free arm around Kyle's back. Both breathed in each other's scents, but while Kyle was inconspicuous, Stan made it obvious by the way the whole upper half of his body tensed, then relaxed again as he breathed out and against Kyle's neck. Kyle returned the hug by placing one hand on Stan's lower back and the other between his shoulder blades.

"Are you okay now?" Stan asked quietly after a while. "I can still hear your fast heartbeat." As if to prove what he was hearing was true, he scooted closer to press against Kyle.

"I'm okay, but- Damn it, stop pointing it out! I don't know why it's like that either." Kyle lied. Of course he knew what that was about, but he sure as hell wasn't about to go and say 'yeah, you just gave me a boner again, thanks, dude!'.

And much to his chagrin, Stan inched even closer and closer until they both fell on the bed with a soft thump. Stan tried to get up, but thanks to his forearms sandwiched between Kyle's back and the bed, he just raised far enough to come face to face with Kyle. Kyle also seemed like he wasn't able to move, but his reason was that if he was to raise his back, he would be dangerously close to Stan's lips, or even worse - rub into him. Not that he couldn't turn his head away to escape the potential kiss that could happen, he just wouldn't want to. So they just stayed like this for a few moments before Stan figured out that he could try with bringing his legs up on the bed. That's what he did, but he stopped upon feeling something hard against his thigh.

"Dude, are you-"

"I- I swear it's random." Kyle defended quickly. He reminded himself of the position of his hands, so he retreated them.

"Yeah..." Stan trailed slowly. "Sure. No problem."

They maintained the awkward eye contact as Stan navigated his legs to frame Kyle's body. Though it seemed he also had something to hide, and it was made obvious when he moved one knee up to Kyle's ribcage, then followed it by the other to try and push himself up and also pull Kyle up in the process to free his arms. Kyle didn't point it out like Stan did. Instead he finally decided it would be a good idea to push up on his elbows to offer some help, but it resulted in their noses brushing.

Well, that's still a kiss - an eskimo kiss, Kyle's brain noted, followed by the rational part of him yelling 'what the fuck'. Then there was a third part of him that made him proceed with the staring after Stan detached himself from Kyle just enough to place his hands next to the sides of Kyle's neck and push up.

"I, uh..." Kyle started and paused to wait for Stan to move away. "Be right back."

With that, he jumped up from the bed and walked out of the room. But of course, the bathroom was occupied by Cartman, so he returned to the room and leaned on the door, huffing in frustration that his escape plan didn't work out. Stan was still sitting on the bed, looking at the floor like he had lost something there. That was, until Kyle's phone pinged with a notification, startling them both. Kyle hurried to take his phone and check the notification.

"Is it that douchebag again?" Stan asked and stood up to approach Kyle.

"No." Kyle replied simply and locked his phone before Stan could take a look at it. He nibbled on his lip in thought, his gaze flicking between the clock and his clothes. Finally he decided to get dressed again, seeing that it was still a half past eight. Well, time for plan B. "I'm gonna go out for a bit."

"What? Dude, that guy could still be-" Stan stopped himself when Kyle shot him a stern look, and raised his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. Sorry. Just be careful, you know."

Kyle nodded in response and walked out after muttering, "You can have some cigarettes if you want." After that, he made his way out, grabbing his keys and jacket in the process. A few more notifications and replying to texts later, he decided, fuck it.

For now he just needed to distract himself from thinking about Stan.


	10. How to start your Wednesday with awkward situations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"...I have never seen parents attack their children's friends."**

** Wednesday, 12:10am **

Stan laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling as he waited for Kyle to come back. He grunted and huffed in frustration every time he thought of going to look for Kyle, but then remembering his words. 'I hate it when I come away as weak', he said. And he had let his guard down after hitting that guy. ~~But damn, did he look badass as hell when he hit him.~~ Of course Stan had to step in. Otherwise Kyle could be hurt, and now that Stan could ~~protect~~ help him... why not do it?

No, now he just needed to try sleeping because obviously thirteen years of no sleeping combined with Wendyl's teasing messed up his brain. The problem was that he really didn't feel like sleeping, he wasn't tired either. This whole thing sucked. 

Finally, he heard the front door unlocking, followed by the familiar footsteps that approached the door to Kyle's room. Stan shot up to sit on the bed and turned to look at Kyle when he entered the room.

"Uh, hey. Where did you run off to?" Stan asked, but Kyle just shot him a quick look before averting his gaze and taking his shirt off to leave it on the chair. Stan stood up cautiously as if he would startle Kyle if he was to make any sharp moves. "Um, I mean, I know it's not my business, but I just..."

Kyle looked up again and, equally slowly, approached the bed and pulled Stan in for a tight hug, nuzzling his face in Stan's neck as he did so. Now that he was closer, Stan could feel a faint smell of alcohol and a cologne that definitely wasn't Kyle's, but he still returned the embrace. He didn't really know what more to do, so he rubbed Kyle's back as a way to soothe him if he was sad or frustrated about something. Though it seemed that this action was translated differently by Kyle who left a few kisses on the side of his neck, then stopped to release a shaky breath.

"I love you." Kyle finally muttered, his voice almost falling to a whisper.

"Dude- You... You're drunk." Stan tried to pull back, but Kyle had a firm grip on him. "You need to sleep. Come on."

But Kyle still didn't let go. Instead he took a step back, sat down on the bed and pulled Stan along. The latter almost lost his balance, but managed to lean his hands on the edge of the bed. Kyle finally moved back, but just enough to look at Stan with a serious, almost stern expression.

"I'm not. I just... had a few drinks, that's all. I know what I'm doing."

Stan pressed his lips in a tight line as he searched for something in Kyle's eyes. Sure enough, it looked like his irises have adopted a darker hue of green.

"As I said, you need sleep." Even Stan was surprised from his own words. He remembered the other night when Wendyl asked him how he was restraining himself. Well, he didn't know either. He had thought over the possibility of Kyle being his entertainment or whatever Wendyl said, but... he sure as hell wasn't going to take advantage of Kyle. Not when he was in this state at least.

"I'm not tired." Kyle retorted, but quickly added, "Sorry, I'll lay down now... But will you stay next to me? I don't wanna lose you again, you know..."

Stan nodded and pulled back when Kyle released him in favor of taking his jeans off, but he already looked too drowsy. And because of that drowsiness, he let the jeans fall to floor, then laid back on the bed with a soft thump. Stan rolled his eyes and covered him with the blanket before sitting down next to him.

"There. You happy now?"

"Thanks. Love you, dude." Kyle replied with a smile and turned to the side, wrapping his arms around Stan's lower back and using his thigh as a pillow. "Good night."

"Good night." Stan repeated and leaned his back on the wall behind him. Even though he was restraining himself from doing anything stupid, he couldn't fight back the urge to run his fingers through Kyle's hair until he fell asleep. He looked down to him and pulled the blanket up to Kyle's shoulder before letting his hand rest there. Even if he couldn't sleep, he still closed his eyes to at least rest and possibly stop thinking about the lingering feeling on his neck.

** Wednesday, 6:30am **

Stan still hasn't dared to move in order to not wake Kyle up. And strangely, Kyle too hasn't moved around in his sleep. Stan looked at the clock when the alarm didn't ring, and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He looked down at Kyle again and patted his shoulder upon figuring that Kyle probably forgot to set up an alarm. Kyle opened his eyes slowly, blinked a few times, then looked up at Stan with a quiet 'hm?'.

"Don't you have work today?"

"Uh... What day is it?"

"Wednesday."

"Nah." Kyle closed his eyes. He yawned and nuzzled his cheek against Stan's thigh, ready to go back to sleep, but his eyes shot wide open again when he registered that the pillow under his head wasn't a pillow at all. He moved back, releasing Stan and sitting up. "Wh- Why are you-"

"You were drunk last night." Stan explained calmly. "Do you remember anything?"

"No, I... Shit. Did I do something stupid?"

Stan shook his head. He didn't know if it was a good idea to tell Kyle what happened, so he just answered with, "Not really."

"What? What does 'not really' mean? I did something, didn't I?" Kyle raised his voice in panic, but he remembered that Kenny and Cartman were probably still sleeping, so he shut his mouth quickly and braced himself for the worst. Which in this case would be that he spouted nonsence or kissed Stan, or maybe did something more than that. But he still remembered meeting with some guy after going out, so he excluded that last possibility of doing anything with Stan.

"You just..." Stan paused and thought over what to say again. "...asked me to stay with you and fell asleep."

Kyle huffed and cast his gaze down. It wasn't so bad, but he still couldn't stop the embarrassment that creeped over him.

"I, uh... I'm sorry that you had to see me like that. And sorry that I used you as a pillow."

"Don't worry, I'm used to it. Wendyl does it all the time." Stan shrugged it off with a smile, but it quickly faded when Kyle looked up at him again, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "What? Is there a problem?"

"No, I just..." Kyle brought the blanket over his shoulders. He made a mental note to turn the AC later or maybe just get dressed. "I wanted to ask you about Wendyl. What's your relationship with them?"

That seemed to take Stan aback, but he shrugged it off again.

"They're something like a mentor to me. Like a parent even. A really, really weird parent."

"...I have never seen parents attack their children's friends." Kyle deadpanned. He wrapped the blanket around his shoulders tighter and noticed Stan's eyes flicking down for a brief moment, but he didn't think much of it.

"Uh, yeah... Sorry about that. They said that your blood just smelled too good."

After that they both fell silent as they remembered Stan's words then. Until they took a breath to say something at the same time, resigned, then repeated that process again before laughing at their own ridiculousness.

"You go." Kyle finally said and gestured to Stan with his hand.

"I wanted to say sorry for uh, you know... what I said then. I just- I wanted to say 'Kyle' and 'my best friend' at the same time and the result was... way too awkward." Stan explained and rubbed the back of his neck. "Not that I like you or something. I mean, I like you _as a friend_ , otherwise it would be too weird. Right?"

"Yeah... Right." Kyle replied and laughed along with Stan again. Though his still half-asleep brain decided to make the situation even more uncomfortable. "So uh... Have you ever thought of... you know, being with... _you know._ " He waved his hand around like it could help him with saying what he wanted to say.

Thankfully Stan seemed to understand him, judging by the way his face changed from neutral to confused, to surprised and embarrassed.

"Actually... Yeah. Who hasn't thought about such things?" Stan shifted in his place. He bit his lip nervously before proceeding quieter, "Have _you_ thought about it?"

Stan was sure that Kyle did, especially after what he said last night, but... there wasn't any harm in asking now, right?

"I mean, yeah. Of course." Kyle replied without missing a beat.

Stan blinked up at him, then scooted closer until their faces were inches apart.

"Then can I...?" His gaze flicked up and down between Kyle's lips and eyes.

That's when both of them realized that they weren't really on the same page. Though neither of them showed any signs of wanting to move.

"...What?" Kyle muttered, finally breaking the silence. 

"Uhhh..." Stan started and cleared his throat. "What did you have in mind when you asked me that?"

"Men in general? Why? What did _you_ have in mind?"

"...Best friends."

A few more seconds of silence passed, and Stan didn't know whether it was a good idea to stay like this or run away. He could almost see the wheels turning in Kyle's head as he pondered on the same thing, though now he was the one who looked at the other's lips.

"Um, well... I mean, I wouldn't mind it if you want to try it out. I guess..." Kyle trailed off. Stan still looked unsure and confused, but he leaned in slowly... and stopped at the last moment.

"You're sober now, right?"

"Uh, yeah? I'm pretty sure I am."

Kyle smiled despite his nervousness. Stan nodded, but didn't move. He was still wondering if they were really going to do... whatever they were going to do if they were thinking the same thing this time. After several more seconds he decided that he went this far and could as well try. No harm in trying, right? But as soon as he kissed Kyle, and felt him returning the kiss, he didn't know if he would be able to stop soon. For better or for worse, it seemed Kyle wasn't going to stop either. Instead he released the blanket in favor of placing his hands on Stan's shoulders and sliding them up to his neck.

"See? It isn't so scary or embarrassing." Kyle pointed out after breaking the kiss, but didn't bother to move his hands away. Of course, he tried to convince Stan, but it helped with convincing himself too.

"Yeah, but... It's still wrong even if it feels good." Stan whispered and sat back at a safe distance away from Kyle. "I mean, it's just that I'm- we are-"

Kyle blinked a few times, remembering where they were and what they were doing.

"Right. Yeah." Kyle finally willed himself to stand up and get dressed. "Uh, so, do you want coffee? I could bring it here if you want."

"Sure." Stan offered a small smile to Kyle and waited for him to go out of the room, then thumped back on the bed, covering his face with his hands.

They actually did it. They kissed! Like it was the most normal thing to do, especially with your best friend. And to top it all, Stan was a vampire, Kyle was a human- It was wrong on so many levels.

Kyle thought about the same thing too as he prepared the coffee. He shot a quick look around, but Kenny and Cartman seemed to still be sleeping. That was good. They couldn't see Kyle as he clutched the counter's edge and bent down, lowering his head and letting out an exasperated sigh at his own fucked-up thoughts. He was sure that Stan was disappointed in him because, after all, if your best friend goes missing for thirteen fucking long years, you would want to catch up with them, update them on what happened when they were gone. But no, all Kyle was thinking now was whether or not he could get in Stan's pants. Which were practically Kyle's, but- It was messed up that he thought of Stan like he was just another guy to date or just meet and fuck. So damn wrong, wrong, wrong-

"I'm a disaster." Kyle whispered to himself, his hands flying up to slap against his cheeks. At least that made him return to reality, along with the strong scent of the much-needed coffee.

He was just about to take the two cups that he filled with coffee and make his way back to his room, but of course, Kenny and Cartman had left their dishes from last night in the sink. Again. Kyle contemplated on getting out of a potential argument with Cartman by just washing the damn dishes, but... why not ask Stan to hypnotize Cartman? Now that would be fun.

Kyle returned to his room and gave Stan one of the cups before taking a seat next to him again.

"So... I forgot to ask you where you've been until now." Kyle gave Stan a sheepish smile which he quickly hid behind his cup.

"Oh. Well, Wendyl took me to various places, trained me and uh..." Stan paused to look down at his coffee. "We took Sparky along a year or so ago."

Kyle pressed his lips in a tight line and looked at Stan's free hand, but instead of catching it, he wrapped an arm around Stan's shoulders. Surprisingly, Stan leaned in to the touch despite their earlier awkward moment, but kept his cup near his face so that he could block out the scent of Kyle's blood.

"So why did you become a vampire? Did you want it or...?"

"I wanted it." Stan lifted his gaze to meet Kyle's wide eyes and finished with a half-smile. "Anyway... What did you do?"

"Um, that's... a really long story."

"It's not like we don't have the whole day."

"Oh, believe me, a day isn't enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _if you wanna kiss your best friend, clap your hands~_  
>  *Stan and Kyle clapping like damn seals, looking at each other, but then being like **no, that's gay** *


	11. How to(not) continue your already awkward Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"I may or may not have left you a little gift on accident."**

** Wednesday, 4:00pm **

Kenny and Cartman didn't wake up until late afternoon. Thanks to Kenny's late night texting with Butters and Cartman's story writing. Kyle and Stan used the time to catch up with each other, Kyle retelling the weird events from the past eight years, and Stan finally opening up to talk about the places Wendyl took him to. Turns out that they were something like travelers, adventurers even(Kyle joked with Stan by calling him Indiana Jones because of his choice of words).

For the most part, they were sitting on the bed while drinking their coffee, but after the bottoms of their cups were made visible, it would be underestimating to say they went crazy. First it was Stan who laid on the bed with his legs propped up on the wall, then Kyle followed suit after bringing the ashtray between them for a shared cigarette. Then they pushed back with their heads hanging off the edge of the bed. And finally, they somehow ended up with Stan laying flat on his back on the floor, his legs on the bed and Kyle using them as a pillow. Though Kyle still couldn't find a comfortable position and turned on his side, on his back, on his stomach. It was still hard.

"Dude, I'll kick you. Either you stay still or get off my legs." Stan warned, but he couldn't stop his smile from showing. 

"Well, sorry." Kyle muttered and rolled his eyes. He reached out for the pillow which had somehow found its way on the floor, and put it over Stan's legs. "You're just so- bony. And cold."

Stan gasped, his hand flying up to plop on his chest with a soft thump.

"Um, excuse you! I can't help the cold, but you're literally laying on my _shins_ right now, which are _bones_. And bones are supposed to be _bony_. What did you expect, jelly?"

Kyle blinked at him with raised eyebrows, then chuckled and turned to lay on his stomach for the thousandth time these past few minutes.

"I know how anatomy works. But still, your thighs make for a better pillow. They're soft."

"I thought you didn't like the fact that you used me as a pillow?" Stan raised a brow. "And now you admit that you actually liked it?"

"You said you didn't mind being used as a pillow, so, uh, yeah. I might as well admit that it was nice." Kyle mumbled in response.

Stan rolled his eyes and huffed in amusement. He raised his body in a, honestly weird, sitting position and leaned on his hands because of the lack of his legs' support.

"Do you have another cigarette?"

Kyle nodded and pushed up on his elbows to scan the area for the pack and the ashtray. When he found them, he gave them to Stan. Though Stan was currently lost staring at the outlines of Kyle's shoulder blades and lower back.

"Is there something on my shirt or are you eyefucking me?" Kyle asked after following Stan's gaze, accompanied by a soft chuckle.

Stan snapped out of it, laughed nervously and took the cigarette and ashtray, then looked around the floor for a lighter.

"There's a difference between eyefucking and being curious."

Kyle froze when he remembered last night and how he looked at Stan. Now, _that_ was eyefucking. Not that he would admit it. Or... maybe he was curious too? Yep. That was it. Nothing wrong with being curious. Right? As if he hasn't seen male bodies already. But then again, he hasn't seen Stan for thirteen years, so of course he would be eye ~~fuck~~ ing him.

"Yeah, sure. No problem."

Stan nodded and lighted his cigarette immediately upon finding the lighter. He took two drags and gave the cigarette to Kyle before laying down and leaving the ashtray on his stomach. They fell silent again, until Stan huffed out a quiet chuckle.

"Dude, I feel like we're some stoners. Except that's a normal cigarette full of tobacco, not weed."

"I don't know. I've never tried weed." Kyle muttered, then frowned and shot a suspicious look at Stan. "Have you?"

"Uhhh... No?" Stan let out a forced laugh and tucked his legs in to sit down normally. He put the cigarette off and smiled. "Anyway, are you hungry? Because I am."

Kyle rolled his eyes and also sat up, pulling his collar down and turning his head to the side.

"Don't change the topic so quickly. How much exactly have you smoked?"

"I, uh, I haven't." Stan mumbled and stood up to come to eye-level with Kyle.

"Dude, I know when you're lying. Why didn't that mentor of yours stop y- _fuck_ -" Kyle clasped a hand over his mouth upon hearing his voice crack when Stan bit him. It almost sounded like a moan, for fuck's sake. Though Stan seemed to think of it differently, so he pulled back.

"Are you okay? Did it hurt?"

"Ye- No. I mean- I'm okay, it doesn't hurt, it's just... It's okay." Kyle looked to the side the whole time, not wanting to meet his friend's eyes even though he felt Stan staring at him. "Anyway, go on. Don't worry."

Stan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but shrugged and went back to his task. This time Kyle held back from making any more weird noises and instead listened to Stan's breathing ~~and _damn_ , these sucking noises~~.

"Are you done yet?" Kyle muttered after a while.

Stan only answered with a quiet hum ~~and Kyle died inside~~ and detached himself from Kyle before drinking too much like he did the first time. And just like then, he licked the wounds so that they could heal, but still, a little bruise was left behind from the sucking. Stan froze upon seeing it and took a cautious look at Kyle's face. _Fucking hell._ He was so going to kill Stan if he knew. But for better or for worse, right now, he looked like he was... somewhat in a state of ecstasy? Stan couldn't put his finger on what exactly caused that ~~, but damn, it was fucking hot~~.

Stan shook the intrusive inappropriate thoughts off and asked quietly, "Dude, are you okay? Should I get some food for you?"

"Sure, yeah. If it isn't troubling you too much." Kyle muttered in response.

As soon as Stan walked out, Kyle's phone pinged with a notification. He almost jumped at the sound and hurried to look at the notification. A message again, but this time it wasn't from that douchebag, thank Christ. Kyle's eyes scanned through the message.

It said, _'Hey there, just letting you know that you were super good last night. Wanna meet up some other time?'_. So after a second or two Kyle responded with, _'I think I told you from the beginning that I don't do second dates.'_. Exactly three seconds later, another text came, _'Well, you were drunk then, I didn't know if you were serious. Anyway, thanks for confirming. Bye now. :)'_.

Kyle raised an eyebrow, completely forgetting about the dizziness from losing some of his blood. That was new. A guy who was using this app and actually had some sense of boundaries? Though he didn't have much time to think about that because Stan walked back into the room, carrying three granola bars, a bottle of water and an ice pack. Kyle blinked up at him, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Why the ice?"

Stan just laughed nervously in response and left the water and granola bars next to Kyle, then pressed the ice pack to the side of his neck. Kyle hissed at the sudden coldness and flinched away from it, but Stan held his shoulder so he wouldn't move.

"What the hell are you even doing?"

"I may or may not have left you a little gift on accident." Stan explained quickly, stressing on the last two words. Kyle just deadpanned at him, so he added, "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean it!"

"Dude..." As he said that, Kyle's voice wavered with the effort of holding his laughter back. He averted his gaze, barely suppressing a few giggles behind the back of his hand. "I can't believe you're so nervous because of such thing. It's not like I can't hide it with a shirt or a jacket."

Stan just frowned at him, still unbelieving and a little hurt because of Kyle laughing at him. Well, not that he was complaining. His laugh was nice. -Wait, what?

"Are you sure though?"

"I'm sure." Kyle replied. He looked back up at Stan and patted his hand that was holding the ice pack.

"What are we sure about?" Kenny shouted out of nowhere, that nowhere being out next to the door. And then, he swung the door open, gasping in surprise as he saw Kyle and Stan. "Oooh- Damn, you sure are fast."

Kyle whipped around to glare at Kenny before Stan could realize what was so strange about their situation. He was just standing in front of Kyle with a hand on his neck. Kyle was sitting-

Oh.

_Oh._

Fuck.

"It's not what you think! Actually, don't even think about it!" Kyle warned, but nothing could stop Kenny's grin from showing. "Jesus- that's a fucking ice pack right here!" Kyle continued, pointing to the ice pack and holding it up after Stan released it in favor of taking a step back from Kyle.

"Sure, Kyle." Kenny waved his hand dismissively, his gaze trailing to Stan, then back to Kyle. "And why do you need that ice pack exactly? Someone gave you a hickey maybe?"

"No!" Kyle immediately retorted while Stan replied with, "It was an accident!"

Kenny laughed and shook his head. He took a step back from the door, but left it wide open.

"Anyway, today is movie day, so move your asses and bring them over here!"

Kenny left them, still grinning, and went to join Cartman on the couch in the living room. Stan pressed the sides of his nose with both hands, took a deep breath and turned on his heel. He opened the wardrobe, got a random shirt out and threw it at Kyle who shot him a puzzled look, then rolled his eyes and put the shirt on. Before standing up Kyle took one of the granola bars, but almost gagged when trying to eat it just because of what Kenny implied that he and Stan were doing. Grumpily, he gathered the rest of the things that Stan brought him, and made his way to the living room. Stan was about to follow him, but after a second thought made the bed first, then took the cigarettes, lighter and ashtray. Something told him they would need them with Kenny and Cartman around.

Kenny picked out a series called 'How to get away with murder'. It didn't look suspicious for Stan, but by the way Kyle gave Kenny a glare and he replied with an innocent smile, it was obvious that there was something up. That something being the brief sex scenes between two of the male characters. Cartman pointed them out every time by saying 'they're gonna fuck again, aren't they' while Kenny beamed like a damn kid walking in a pastry shop. Stan tried hard to hide his interest by leaning to the side away from Kyle and slumping against the armrest. And Kyle... well, his face was devoid of emotions at these scenes. He was just sipping his water, not giving a flying fuck about the nudging in his side that Kenny gave him.

Nevertheless, there was a lot of weird tension between Kyle and Stan. But at least Cartman and Kenny's comments at the episodes were funny, so that helped a bit.


	12. Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"You're stupid because you're prioritizing me?"**

** Wednesday, 3:00am **

The days passed like weeks, the weeks passed like months, and before they all knew it, three months and a half passed since Stan started living with Kyle, Kenny and Cartman. Through these three months Stan helped with chores or hypnotized Cartman into doing them, spent his days helping Cartman with his books, half of the nights with Kyle and the other half with Wendyl or wandering around town.

Kenny was beginning to spend more and more time with Butters and stayed most nights with him instead of with his friends. Even Kyle somehow found a boyfriend despite his policy of 'only one-night stands'. And his friends found out a month ago when he brought that guy home with him. Turned out it was Davíd Rodriguez, a former classmate of Kyle, Kenny and Cartman(Cartman made that known by calling him Dave or David, followed by said guy and Kyle correcting him on how it was pronounced, and Kenny saying how things haven't changed from elementary school).

And somehow, everything turned upside down from that point. Stan was left alone at nights as Kyle followed Kenny's example with spending more time with his boyfriend instead of his friends. Of course, Stan wouldn't, for anything in the world, seek comfort in Cartman, so he went to Wendyl a few times. He didn't know why he felt so bad when he was supposed to feel happy for his best friend. Unsurprisingly, Wendyl suggested he had feelings for Kyle besides friendly love and he was being jealous, which was just ridiculous. He wasn't jealous, pfft.

But then again, what other cause would there be for this crushing feeling he had every time Kyle received phone calls from Davíd and walked out of the room to talk the night away with him. Stan was supposed to be the one to talk with Kyle until he falls asleep.

Of course, it wasn't Kyle's fault, it wasn't Davíd's fault either. It was Stan's fault. He was messed up for thinking that his friend wasn't supposed to be happy with someone else. Not when Stan was so miserable without him.

Okay, he might be _a little bit_ jealous. Though that only created more questions like why was he jealous in the first place, what even caused that jealousy. Probably the fact that his friend was taken away from him? But then why didn't he feel the same way about Kenny? He was also being taken away from them.

Stan groaned and pushed these thoughts away, instead concentrating on making his way through the forest and back home. He decided flying would be a better and faster way, so that's what he did. But when he landed on the balcony of the living room and reached for the open window, he stopped in his tracks. It was dark in the room, but he could clearly see, and hear, Kyle and Davíd making out on the couch, looking like they were ready to just fuck with their clothes on, judging by all the groping and hips movements. To top it off, it was three o'clock in the morning and these too didn't give off signs of wanting to go to bed to sleep, not to fuck.

Fuck jealousy, that was becoming fucking annoying. Sixth night in a row. They followed a routine of Davíd coming over for dinner, Stan excusing himself by saying he wasn't hungry and going to Kyle's room, eventually going in town later, then coming back to see that Cartman was fast asleep or with earbuds on while writing, Kenny was with Butters again, and Kyle and Davíd were having the time of their lives on the fucking couch of all places where someone like Cartman or Stan, in this case, could walk on them.

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath. No way in hell was he going to enter the building through the main entrance like normal people did, and take the stairs or the damn elevator to appear like he came home the normal way. No, instead he climbed in through the window without making a sound and went to the other side of the room swiftly. He opened and closed the door there as if he was just entering through there. That caught Kyle's and Davíd's attention, and they stopped in their tracks to look at Stan, but didn't make an attempt to detach themselves from one another.

"Hey dude, what's up?" Davíd greeted with a nervous smile.

Stan didn't know why that guy was so keen on being friendly with him. It wouldn't affect his relationship with Kyle in any way, but... maybe he was just putting up such front? Nevertheless, one thing was obvious, and that was his fear of Stan. Even if he never said something about it, Stan could feel it, smell it even. It actually felt nice. But right now he wasn't in the mood to scare the guy even further.

"The sky." Stan answered ironically as he made his way through the living room and to Kenny's room. He met Kyle's eyes for a brief second, but it was enough for Kyle to inquire him wordlessly about what the fuck was that just now. Though Stan kept his stone cold expression and didn't answer him in any way. "I'll take Kenny's room tonight. And you two keep it down. Thanks. Bye."

With that, Stan retreated in Kenny's room(good thing he was at Butters' again), but even after closing the door he could hear a whisper of 'what was his problem?', then another, 'I don't know, I'll check now'. Stan also heard rustling of fabric and metal clinking. It made him weirdly satisfied to know that Davíd was leaving because of him. Sure, it was bitchy. Sure, Kyle would probably be angry at Stan because of that. But it was worth it.

Stan sat down on the bed and leaned on the headboard when Kyle approached the door after a quick exchange of 'love you' and 'love you too'. A knock came on the door, and Stan wiped his grin of delight off, replacing it with his neutral expression again.

"What is it?" Stan asked as soon as Kyle opened the door. Instead of angry, he looked... worried? What the actual fuck. But that still didn't stop Stan from joking. "If you want a threesome, no thanks."

Kyle quirked a brow in confusion, then shook his head, sighed and approached the bed. He pushed Stan's legs out of the way and sat down. Stan scrunched his nose at the scent of the foreign cologne, the same one Kyle was smelling of that night three months ago when he came back drunk. Why did Stan even come to hate it? It wasn't the same as Kyle's, but it wasn't that bad. Maybe because of the associations...?

"What's wrong?"

"I don't get what you mean. Everything's fine." Stan assured, a tad bit too cold and monotonous. He fixed that with a small smile and gave a pat on Kyle's shoulder. "You can go back to Davíd."

"He left." Kyle muttered slowly as if he was unsure of what he was saying. "Didn't you know with your enhanced senses?"

"Actually, no. I guess you were too far away? Don't know. But why did he leave?" Stan finished with a tone of feigned innocence.

Kyle seemed taken aback. He averted his gaze and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I don't really know. I just told him that I should check on you and he, uh- ...Shit. He's probably frustrated about me prioritizing you or something." Kyle finished with a slap on his forehead and a click of his tongue. "I'm fucking stupid."

Now _that_ made Stan leave the jokes and play-pretends out and turn serious. Even his tone became colder somehow.

"You're stupid because you're prioritizing me?"

"Wh- No! I didn't mean that." Kyle blurted out quickly. "I just, I didn't realize the reason until now, that's why. But I don't regret choosing my friend over a boyfriend."

Okay, that hurt more than it was supposed to. But- was being called a friend even supposed to hurt?

"Nice save." Stan remarked, offering a short applause before leaning back against the headboard. "So why don't you go to sleep instead? It's three in the morning."

Kyle narrowed his eyes at him and gritted his teeth for some unexplainable reason. He stood up, but instead of going out of the room, he closed the door and returned to his previous place, but now turned to face Stan fully.

"Why are you acting like this? Did someone anger you? Cartman? Wendyl? Kenny? Me? Dude, speak to me! We haven't talked normally in, what, two- three weeks?"

Stan huffed in amusement, and maybe just a little frustration.

"I'm perfectly fine. I don't know why you think otherwise."

"Stan." Kyle started again. He placed a hand on Stan's thigh as he proceeded, "You can tell me if there's something wrong. We're still best friends after all, right?"

Stan opened his mouth to answer 'yes, we are', but found his voice caught in his throat as he looked down at Kyle's hand. Finally, he decided - fuck that guy, fuck his stupid cologne and accent. Kyle was touching Stan now, he chose him over David, if only for a few minutes. So Stan, already unable to hold back, closed the distance between them and wrapped Kyle in a tight hug. The latter tried to pull his hand away and return the gesture, but Stan caught his wrist quickly to hold it in place.

"Stan? Dude, are you okay?" Kyle asked, quieter this time. His free hand rubbed Stan's back. Though Stan didn't move or say something. He just nuzzled Kyle’s neck, parting his lips to graze his fangs on the soft skin. That helped Kyle remember that Stan hasn't eaten for almost two days now. He sighed and raised his hand to rest it on Stan's head. He didn't even question why Stan was acting like this, neither did he admit that it actually felt nice even if it would be wrong if seen by other people. "Go on."

Stan stopped in his tracks. All kinds of feelings bubbled up in his chest and suffocated him. He didn't know what to think, which feelings were wrong and which were right. All he knew now was simply Kyle, his hand on Stan's leg, the enticing smell of his blood that blocked out the scent of that other guy that Stan didn't even want to think about. Stan inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly, and pulled Kyle's collar down, biting his neck right next to a fading red-purple mark. His hand gripped Kyle's shirt, the other moving up from his wrist to his forearm, elbow, bicep, all the way to his shoulder.

"Stan-" Kyle whispered in protest, or at least in an attempt of protest.

Both of them knew that was wrong, but just one breathy hum from Stan made Kyle forget about everything. And it didn't stop there - Stan's hands traveled down to the hem of Kyle's shirt, then under it and finally stopping at his sides. Stan pulled back shortly after, both of them releasing a shaky breath at the same time. Stan's eyes were red-and glassy for some reason- as he dipped down again to lick the wounds.

Then finally, when he pulled back, he breathed out, "Kiss me."

Now there was no disobedience like the first time Stan tried hypnotizing Kyle. Instead, the latter did just that, and when Stan moved his hands on Kyle's back, Kyle copied that.

Still, Stan felt the urge to break the kiss quickly, but didn't release Kyle from the hypnosis until he detached their hands from each other. It just wasn't the same as the first kiss they shared. It was obvious this one was artificial, forced, like it wasn't meant to happen. Then again, of course it wasn't. Kyle had a boyfriend after all, everything beyond and including kisses was meant for him. Not for Stan.

As Kyle snapped back to reality, Stan huffed out a bitter laugh. He was the stupid one to realize just now that Wendyl was right about everything all along. He couldn't understand it before Kyle got a boyfriend, no, he had to understand it _after_ that. That was seriously fucked up.

"Stan? What was that about?" Kyle asked, his voice falling to a whisper again. He struggled to keep his eyes open.

"Sorry." was all Stan said before Kyle fell asleep and slumped forward, his head coming in contact with Stan's chest with a soft thump. Stan apologized again even if Kyle couldn't hear him, and wrapped his arms around him, keeping him close and leaning back to the headboard.

His chest hurt. He thought it was the pain from the impact with Kyle's head.

It was much worse than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Davíd wasn't supposed to make an appearance, but here we are :')


	13. Plush toys are gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **He hoped Kenny didn't hear the hesitation in his voice when he spoke about Stan.**

** Wednesday, 10:00am **

Kyle opened his eyes only to see the photo-covered wall in his room. He was pretty sure he was in Kenny's room when Stan drank his blood. He must have passed out again, that's why he didn't remember how he got to his room. And he had to call Davíd and apologize for last night and... wait.

_What about Stan?_

Just as he started to panic, an alarm set off on his phone with a label of 'two months'. Of-fucking-course. Today was the day marking the two-month relationship with Davíd. But Kyle, a dumbass, forgot about it, and now was freaking out even more because of his best friend feeling down and he needed to call Kenny for an advice or something.

Either way, he was so fucking dead that it was almost unbelievable. And last night... How did he even manage to piss off two people for less than five minutes? Hell, he didn't even know what he did. That was, aside from leaving his boyfriend in order to go to his best friend. But then again, Davíd left himself, so...

It would be for the best if they talked about it later. 

He shot up from the bed, got dressed as fast as possible and hurried out of his room. For the first time in forever, the blinds were open. That was weird. He closed them again and headed to Kenny's room. He knocked two times and after hearing Kenny's 'come in', he opened the door. Contrary to his expectations, Stan wasn't there. Only Kenny was in, laying on his bed and watching something on his phone.

"What's up?" Kenny asked after Kyle's ten-second silence and lost expression.

"Um, Stan was supposed to be here?"

"Yeah, he got out at around 4:30. Said he would be visiting Wendyl." Kenny explained and sat up, turning to face Kyle. "Did you two fight or something? I know he's normally pale, but damn... he was even paler a few hours ago. And he looked like he had been crying. Dunno, I didn't press on for answers."

"What? Why would he be crying?" Kyle asked. Kenny just shrugged in response.

Kyle groaned and rubbed his temples. It was probably memories of Sparky again, otherwise Stan wasn't the one to cry about just anything. Still, he would have to talk to him tonight. Now he only got one problem left. Davíd. Kyle gasped as he just remembered about his boyfriend, and also slapped himself mentally for being so scatter-brained lately. "Right, so, I actually still haven't gotten a gift for Davíd and I need you to help me."

Kenny laughed at that and shook his head.

"You're asking the person who moves on autopilot with everything for help for your relationship. Pretty bold of you."

"Well I'm not about to ask Cartman. I've read the little romance his books contain." Kyle finished with a smile and pushed off of the doorway, nodding to the hallway. "Come on. I'll get coffee on the way."

Kenny nodded and stood up. He was already running on one coffee from Butters, but he wasn't about to turn down another free one.

** Wednesday, 11:30am **

"Cologne?"

"I got him that last month, and literally everyone can come up with this."

"Matching bracelets or jewelry in general?"

"First, that's gay, second, he doesn't wear jewelry."

"Um... Plush toys?"

"That's gay."

"Dude, you're gay."

"...You've got a point."

Kyle sighed and looked around. Maybe he should listen to Kenny and get some toy for Davíd? Does he even like such things? Sure, he could be childish sometimes, but just the thought of getting him a gift like that was... Too cliché. But with St. Valentine's Day coming up, the mall was packed with people, balloons and corny decorations. He and Kenny didn't have that big of a choice with most of the shops selling plush toys.

Kyle was fucked. Now he had to take not one, but two gifts. Aside from the stupid toy, he had to rack up his brain for something else for Valentine's Day which was two days from now. And he wasn't even such a romantic person. How was he supposed to think of something original with all the cliché gifts that filled the stores around him?

He was seriously fucked.

Yet he found himself with a small teddy bear and a chocolate that didn't look as crappy as the others in his hands, in a queue of tens of other people who were practically piled up around the cash register. At least he had Kenny by his side to keep him from going insane or too socially awkward. It was embarrassing enough that he went for a mainstream overused gift.

"So uh... Have you gotten Butters anything?" Kyle asked after a while. He kept glancing between the cashier and the slow-moving line of people.

"Yep." Kenny replied with a grin. "I'm his present."

Kyle let out a forced laugh. And just as he thought things couldn't get any awkward than that, someone tapped his shoulder. He turned his head, his gaze slowly falling to Wendyl who donned their sunglasses again along with a cap. Their hair was tied in a low loose bun and they smelled of something like... sunscreen? And they also had something in their hands - a set of jewelry, complete with a necklace, earrings and a bracelet.

"Holy fuck-" Kyle whispered. "What are _you_ doing here? It's daylight if you haven't noticed."

"I have sunscreen." Wendyl replied with a smile. "And hello to you too, Kyle. Kenny. Nice to see you again. I see you're on the hunt for surprises too, aren't you? Who are they for?"

"My boyfriend." Kyle answered slowly and raised an eyebrow. "I thought Stan told you with how often he's coming to see you."

Kenny nodded in affirmation, but Wendyl looked surprised for some reason, their smile fading in less than a second.

"But- he doesn't come that often. He came last night after almost a week of not coming. I thought he was too occupied with you or something."

Kyle and Kenny exchanged a confused look.

"Then where could he be going if not to you?" Kyle asked again.

"I have no idea." Wendyl shrugged and took a step forward when the line of people moved too. "He hasn't talked about anyone besides you two and Cartman."

Kyle bit his lip and frowned down at his feet. He should definitely talk to Stan when he comes back. While he was lost in thought, Kenny and Wendyl engaged in small talk about their significant others to fill the time. And before he could realize it, he finally reached the cash register.

"You want to surprise a special girl? Bet she's lucky." The girl behind the counter said as she put the items in the bag.

That caused Kyle to snap out of his daze, but now the awkwardness settled in again and he was about to correct the cashier, but he remembered at the last moment that he hadn't came out to everyone yet. Only his friends and the guys from Grindr, including Davíd knew. His family was yet to find out. Hopefully it wouldn't be any time soon. It would be too problematic. And it was enough of a shock to tell them he was trans ten years ago, being gay would be too much, especially for his mother who already dreamed of having grandchildren.

"Uh... Sure..." Kyle trailed off slowly as he took his change and the bag. He muttered a 'thanks' and turned to Wendyl to give them a wave goodbye. Kenny also stopped for a brief second to wave and smile at Wendyl, then caught up with Kyle who already made his way out of the shop, sighing in relief as he got out of the cluster of people. He hurried to walk out of the mall, Kenny trailing close behind him.

"Well, Wendyl doesn't look like a bad person." Kenny spoke up as they got in Kyle's car. "I don't know why you were freaked out by them three months ago."

"Dude, they literally attacked me at our first meeting." Kyle pointed out as he fished in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes and lighter. He was going to need that after being around so much people at once. "But Stan seems to trust them, now you too... I don't know. They're still too shady for my liking."

"Stan is shady too, but you're still his friend." Kenny shrugged and rather unceremoniously took one of Kyle's cigarettes when he opened the pack. "And speaking of Stan... What really happened with you two? Just when I thought you had some chemistry or something, you come home with some other guy, saying that he's your boyfriend."

"Actually, I think we were both confused or something. But Davíd on the other hand... I don't know, we just- clicked. You know." Kyle muttered before lighting his cigarette, then giving the lighter to Kenny.

He hoped Kenny didn't hear the hesitation in his voice when he spoke about Stan. But even if he did, he didn't question it. Instead Kenny lighted his cigarette too and stared out the window as they started the drive back home.

** Wednesday, 5:59pm **

Kyle wasn't late. That was at least one win for today. Now all that was left was to see if Davíd was going to like his present. Kyle checked the time on his phone one last time before ringing the doorbell to Davíd's apartment. There wasn't an answer for a few seconds, and Kyle used them to remind himself of his not-so-short routine. He did everything from his mental list - take a gift, go home, shower, shave, eat something, bicker with Cartman(what did that even have to do with the other things?), get help from Kenny again for his clothes, try to tame his hair, fail at it, then finally go to meet with his boyfriend. Kyle checked his phone again - 6:00pm, and Davíd opened the door, greeting Kyle with the usual warm smile.

"Mi amor!" Davíd exclaimed, his hands flying up to Kyle's cheeks.

Kyle automatically melted under the touch and bent down for a quick kiss.

"Happy, uh, two month anniversary...? I don't even know if that's a proper term." Kyle laughed nervously as he pulled back to give the bag in his hand to Davíd. "I hope you'll like that, but... um, if you don't, it's-"

Davíd chuckled in response and tapped his thumb on Kyle's lips before retreating his hands to wipe them on his jeans, leaving white powder behind, and take the bag after going in the hallway. Just when Kyle licked his lips, he realized that the white powder was flour. Even if the taste wasn't good, it made him smile, but he was still on edge, observing Davíd's face as he looked at the contents of the bag, then looked back up at Kyle. His expression was completely unreadable for a second, but just as Kyle opened his mouth to say something, he was silenced by another kiss.

"Thank you, Kyle. It's really nice. But I told you you didn't have to buy anything."

Not the reaction Kyle expected, but it still made him feel at ease. And Davíd smiled too, so maybe everything was alright?

"I just wanted to get you something. I'm glad you like it."

"Come in. I'm almost ready." Davíd motioned to the closed door to the living room as he moved away to let Kyle take his shoes off and go in.

"Do you need help with anything?"

"I'll be fine. Just sit and relax." Davíd assured, giving a smile and a light pat to Kyle's chest before retreating to the kitchen.

Kyle watched him go, then huffed in amusement as he walked into the living room. The table in the middle was beautifully set, to say the least. It wasn't anything too extravagant, having only one small candle in the middle as a reminder that today was a special day. Kyle smiled again at the thought as he took a seat at the table, but couldn't stop himself from looking over to the window. Stan being somewhere out there right now flashed his mind, but the thought quickly faded when Davíd entered the room with a bottle of beer and two glasses in his hands. Kyle stifled his laugh as he helped him set down the glasses. It was nice that he didn't go for anything fancy like wine or champagne and just went for beer. He could only wonder what the food would be as Davíd scurried off again. This time, he brought two plates with triangular pieces of pizza. Not really surprising, given that it went along well with beer. But even if it was more casual, it was still... romantic. Especially when Davíd said that he made the pizza himself.

The dinner went well, with Kyle constantly praising Davíd for the delicious pizza and Davíd taking the compliments with a smile and a few chuckles. They moved on to watching a movie after that somehow led them to a make out session on the couch, glasses still in their hands until they left them on the ground. In the half-drunken haze Davíd pushed Kyle down on the couch, proceeding to unbutton his shirt and kiss his neck, biting it here and there. That only made Kyle remind himself of Stan and- fuck, why was he even thinking of him while he was with his boyfriend?

"Kyle?" Davíd whispered, lifting his head to look at said boy. "What is it? You seem out of it."

"The beer's getting to me." Kyle half-lied. He smiled and caressed Davíd's cheek with the back of his hand. "And I think we should move to the bedroom because my neck is starting to get sore."

Davíd nodded and stood up slowly, careful not to step on the glasses next to the couch. Kyle caught his hand as he stood up too, and followed him to the bedroom. As they got in, this time it was Kyle who initiated the intimate touches and kisses, much to Davíd's surprise. The latter still allowed Kyle to take over, to undress him and make him feel good, not the other way around like most times.

But still, Kyle couldn't get Stan out of his head. Everything he did with Davíd, he imagined with Stan, even if the rational part of his brain disagreed with that.

Probably the beer again.


End file.
